Yahoo's "Oddly enough" section has picked up on an offer of a "Lordship" for the Holidays in the article below. Well, I can't think of a batter gift for that special someone. Wouldn't mind a lordship myself. But, as I'm bent on the papacy, I'm thinking that whole church/state thing might come into play. Become a Lord for 29.99 Mon Dec 13,10:16 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters LONDON (Reuters) - The British aristocracy has long been an exclusive c...
Yahoo's "Oddly enough" section has picked up on an offer of a "Lordship" for the Holidays in the article below. Well, I can't think of a batter gift for that special someone. Wouldn't mind a lordship myself. But, as I'm bent on the papacy, I'm thinking that whole church/state thing might come into play. Become a Lord for 29.99 Mon Dec 13,10:16 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters LONDON (Reuters) - The British aristocracy has long been an exclusive c...
I'm not quite 35 (until May), but it is stalking at my doorstep, and I was contemplating the advantages of 35, and thought I would post this before my feeble grey matter starts to deteriorate further. So, here's the list I came up with: --Outlived Jesus Christ, Alexander the Great, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Janis Joplib, Jimi Hendrix -- and accomplished much, much less. --365 days from being too old to enlist in the Army on a drunken bar bet --will officially be no more than 80 millio...
I'm not quite 35 (until May), but it is stalking at my doorstep, and I was contemplating the advantages of 35, and thought I would post this before my feeble grey matter starts to deteriorate further. So, here's the list I came up with: --Outlived Jesus Christ, Alexander the Great, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Janis Joplib, Jimi Hendrix -- and accomplished much, much less. --365 days from being too old to enlist in the Army on a drunken bar bet --will officially be no more than 80 millio...
Dear ladies and gents, I feel that as a newly converted Maxwellian peasant, I have the obligation to rise to the highest heights to which I as a lowly peasant may achieve. Therefore, I went on a journey to solve all of the world's problems, first and foremost those of the blogsite known as Joeuser. My quest first took me to a little known mountain in Tibet, where I was escorted to the summit by barefoot Tibetan monks walking upon rose petals placed there by enlightened eagles that showe...
Dear ladies and gents, I feel that as a newly converted Maxwellian peasant, I have the obligation to rise to the highest heights to which I as a lowly peasant may achieve. Therefore, I went on a journey to solve all of the world's problems, first and foremost those of the blogsite known as Joeuser. My quest first took me to a little known mountain in Tibet, where I was escorted to the summit by barefoot Tibetan monks walking upon rose petals placed there by enlightened eagles that showe...
OK, I know people have tried this, but I'm not sure of their success. Maybe in my quest for employment, I could become a human ad. Having access to Vegas, I could spend my day walking up and down the strip with someone's corporate logo emblazoned on every piece of clothing that I have. I could walk up and down Fremont street after dark, hit the strip during the day, and even make myself prominently visible amidst any crowds that draw massive media attention (John Kerry IS speaking in Vegas...
OK, I know people have tried this, but I'm not sure of their success. Maybe in my quest for employment, I could become a human ad. Having access to Vegas, I could spend my day walking up and down the strip with someone's corporate logo emblazoned on every piece of clothing that I have. I could walk up and down Fremont street after dark, hit the strip during the day, and even make myself prominently visible amidst any crowds that draw massive media attention (John Kerry IS speaking in Vegas...
Ok, I think I have found a winner here. My newest, greatest reality show idea ever is a show called "Who Gets the Krispy Kremes?" The participants will be, among others, Michael Moore, Roger Ebert, Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell. The concept is this: each will be placed in front of preselected audiences and see who they can piss off the worst (examples, Michael Moore in front of the young Republicans, Rosie O'Donnell in front of the 700 Club studio audience). There will also be physi...
Ok, I think I have found a winner here. My newest, greatest reality show idea ever is a show called "Who Gets the Krispy Kremes?" The participants will be, among others, Michael Moore, Roger Ebert, Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell. The concept is this: each will be placed in front of preselected audiences and see who they can piss off the worst (examples, Michael Moore in front of the young Republicans, Rosie O'Donnell in front of the 700 Club studio audience). There will also be physi...
Got the inspiration for this off of serenity's blog: Fly a plane solo across the country Parachute into the Grand Canyon Put together a really BAD band for a "battle of bands" competition, but have a lot of "seeds" in the audience to talk us up and scream loudly when we're playing. Make up a faux celebrity name (complete with webpage) and "crash" a high roller's nightclub with full entourage Whap Ryan Seacrest with a Nerf Bat Whap whoever put his star on the Hollywood walk of fame with...
Got the inspiration for this off of serenity's blog: Fly a plane solo across the country Parachute into the Grand Canyon Put together a really BAD band for a "battle of bands" competition, but have a lot of "seeds" in the audience to talk us up and scream loudly when we're playing. Make up a faux celebrity name (complete with webpage) and "crash" a high roller's nightclub with full entourage Whap Ryan Seacrest with a Nerf Bat Whap whoever put his star on the Hollywood walk of fame with...
The old state mottos are tired and worn. It's time for some new state mottos, and here are a few I'm proposing (some are lifted from other sources, most are mine): Wisconsin: Smell our Dairy Air Nevada: When California falls into the ocean, we'll be beachfront property, baby! Arkansas: Someone has to be 50th in education Ohio: Our National Guard hasn't shot a student in 35 years Indiana: "More than Corn in Indiana" my ASS! Georgia: Our wide open spaces are bigger than Ted Turne...
The old state mottos are tired and worn. It's time for some new state mottos, and here are a few I'm proposing (some are lifted from other sources, most are mine): Wisconsin: Smell our Dairy Air Nevada: When California falls into the ocean, we'll be beachfront property, baby! Arkansas: Someone has to be 50th in education Ohio: Our National Guard hasn't shot a student in 35 years Indiana: "More than Corn in Indiana" my ASS! Georgia: Our wide open spaces are bigger than Ted Turne...
I have discovered something that will make me FILTHY RICH! There's a key to being a successful talk show host, and it has nothing to do with program content or guests. It has to do with having a featured member of your show be completely bald. Let's begin our discussion by looking at Oprah's longtime psychologist Dr. Phil: OK, exhibit B is none other than David Letterman's longtime band leader, Paul Shaeffer: Need more? How about Jerry Springer's security man, Steve? ...