Gideon records is proud to announce the release of the latest single from their new group, Run OMC. Run OMc is composed of Senators McCain, Clinton, and Obama, who although they are fierce opponents, basically sing the same song. Here are the lyrics to their new single, "Vote This Way": OBAMA’s Part There's a independent voter That's really got my motor Runnin’ till Election Day, Said “Yo’ Momma, I be votin’ for Obama cuz Oprah wants to see...
I was scanning through my yahoo! mail when I saw the words that should make anyone shudder. The local freecycle group (if you haven't checked into these groups, you should!) had a posting from one of the members offering a hide-a-bed. Hide-a-beds are, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions, the devil! They are the fruitcake of furniture, pieces that nobody ever seems to buy, yet that somehow everyone ends up owning. After our last move, and the twisting, turning and contort...
OK, so my calendar says today is Veteranarian's Day. What did veteranarians ever do that was worth a day to themselves. One time I had this dog, a cute little Pomeranian. It got sick and we had to take it to the vet, and he didn't do nothing for her. He just told us we had to put her to sleep. And another time, my little cat frisky, had worms, and did the veteranarian actually DO anything? No, he gave her pills. I could have bought pills. They have them at our local grocery store and I cou...
Ralph Deleuro has a million dollar idea. Ever since a drive in Las Vegas' downtown district, Deleuro has been convinced that there was a better way to take care of transactions among the nation's downtrodden. Deleuro watches with dismay as a beggar who went by the street name "Gonzo" was beaten and left for dead outside the liquor store for the few dollars he had managed to beg that night on Vegas' famour Fremont Street. Now, Deleuro believes he has come up with the solution. Armed wit...
As I edge closer to middle age, I feel the pressing need to confess my failings, my imperfections. OK, so I don't. I just think it makes for a damn decent story. It was many many years ago (How many years ago? How long is the statute of limitations for this offense? Take that and add one year). We sat around drinking intoxicating beverages and playing increasingly modified games of Axis & Allies (Kamchatka gets two turns in a row...take THAT Mongolia!). Somewhere between the game and t...
The poor today are pathetic. I mean, they're really, really bad. See, over the years, there's been a push to give poor people the lifestyles of a pseudo-lower middle class. Unfortunately, when we started doing so, the poor lost a certain je ne sais quoi , a style, a culture that distinctly identified them and gave them a certain flair, and haunted their children with memories that we never will shake. I miss polyester. I mean, if slacks can't throw sparks when rubbed together in t...
(Disclaimer for the humour impaired: While the following may be sharp, it is nonetheless a satire, not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.) A splinter Baptist Group has now decided that Compassion is not a Godly trait, and are at work retranslating the Bible to prove their case. The Baptist United Ministries voted 453-2 in their annual convention to combat the teaching that compassion, love, and kindness are Godly traits, and instead emphasize more heavily on the carnal sins, which, ...
I hate the RIAA as a general rule. But it has come to my attention that the RIAA serves a valid purpose, one that it is not generally filling. This article is a plea for officials from the RIAA to step in and police in an area where they are badly needed. See, if the RIAA is going to protect a copyright, it should also work to protect the integrity of the piece. As an art museum would protect an artist's work from defacement, the RIAA should protect the work of its artists. There are some son...
With Saddam Hussein's body freshly decomposing in the Bagdad soil, I felt it was not to soon to shamelessly capitalize on the death of the Iraqi dictator. And since I could not come up with something original fast enough to beat the OTHER vultures to the corpse (and because it's easier to work with a tune you already know), I reworked Bob Dylan's song "The Hurricane". OK, so it's not perfectly accurate (but neither, frankly, was Dylan's ode), but it's fast, and hopefully will garner me much, muc...
I demand a recount! Recent news reported that the Ohio anti-smoking amendment passed by 75% of the popular vote. But news reports, and politicians, will not tell the TRUE story here. And the truth, in this case, could set smokers free. You see, there are 7.85 million registered voters in the state of Ohio. of those 7.85 million voters, the anti-smoking amendment got about 75% of the votes cast. But since voter turnout hovered just below 50%, that means that in reality, the antismoking amen...
I have spent many a sleepless night since the demotion of pluto from planet status (OK, not really...but it's much more dramatic than saying "They killed Pluto! You BASTARDS!"). But I HAVE wondered, as a homeschooling father, how to rectify this demotion in the minds of my children. The oldest two have been taught that pluto was a planet, and, while they've heard the news, I'm afraid they've been indoctrinated to the "old ways" of thinking. That, and I'm not really ready to give Pluto up mys...
I hate "mommy blogs". In a recent article on a most UN-mommy blog, the writer was posing the question about mommy blogs. They could not remember where the comment came up, but the estrogen poured over those responses like water down the Colorado in flood season. Therefore, I MUST defend my honor in the light of these (horrible, I tells ya!) accusations. And so, this article is dedicated to those mommy bloggers (disclaimer: I am NOT referring to TW, dharma, angela, loca, or any of the JU re...
(With apologies to Janis): "Oh George, woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz The rich all drive Porsches, I must make amends I bummed all I can off my family and friends So, George woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz" "Oh, George woncha buy me an HDTV This ol' Sanyo set just ain't doin' it for me, If the picture were clearer I think I'd be free So, George, woncha buy me an HDTV?" "Oh, George, woncha buy me my next whiskey round My life is so rotten, my sorrows...
From the "You can't make this stuff up!" Department: Link Every once in awhile, there comes a time when we all must step up; when we all must give of ourselves for a greater cause to help our fellowman. This is not one of those times. Dustin Diamond, the distinguished child actor, whose numerous credits include "Saved by the Bell", and, umm, "Saved by the Bell: the college years", is in trouble of losing his house. His Port Washington, Wisconsin home is in danger of bein...
When Jeff Mortensen came home one day last November, he was in a less than cordial mood. He had received a call from school about his son's bullying behavior, for the fourth time, and he was at a loss to explain how it happened. The family had always taught their children to love and respect others. Jeff shortly received an explanation that satisfied him. As he entered the home, he heard the hard driving metal soundtrack of another of his son's PS2 games. He immediately removed the console an...