OK, folks, in the words of Dave Barry, I swear I am not making this up. Members of Devizes cricket club in Wiltshire, England were quite surprised when a rabbit burst out of a pile of rubbish they had been burning and bolted, aflame, into their equipment shed, lighting the shed on fire and destroying equipment worth 60,000 pounds ($110,000). Firefighters arrived on the scene to extinguish the blaze and found the rabbit's skeleton inside the destroyed shed. signing off, Gideon MacL...
OK, folks, in the words of Dave Barry, I swear I am not making this up. Members of Devizes cricket club in Wiltshire, England were quite surprised when a rabbit burst out of a pile of rubbish they had been burning and bolted, aflame, into their equipment shed, lighting the shed on fire and destroying equipment worth 60,000 pounds ($110,000). Firefighters arrived on the scene to extinguish the blaze and found the rabbit's skeleton inside the destroyed shed. signing off, Gideon MacL...
I am a huge fan of the Darwin Awards, and pulled this little tidbit off their website: In Sheffield, England, in 2002, Kim Fontana, 32, and Paul Cowley, 40, decided the walk to their respective flats was a bit too long for them to fulfill their amorous intentions. So, they found a road outside the pub where the streetlight had gone out that provided the perfect cover of darkness. Despite three warnings -- one from a paramedic, one from a car driver, and another from a pedestrian, the co...
I am a huge fan of the Darwin Awards, and pulled this little tidbit off their website: In Sheffield, England, in 2002, Kim Fontana, 32, and Paul Cowley, 40, decided the walk to their respective flats was a bit too long for them to fulfill their amorous intentions. So, they found a road outside the pub where the streetlight had gone out that provided the perfect cover of darkness. Despite three warnings -- one from a paramedic, one from a car driver, and another from a pedestrian, the co...
I am developing what I feel could be the next novel treatment for hypertension. I call it "flex therapy". It works along the same lines as causing your muscles to relax by contracting, then releasing. The premise is that you cause a person's blood pressure to shoot up sky high over and over again so that over time, the pressure tends to trend downward. I am advancing this theory using the following methods: *sending name and address on "I would like to know more about your faith" to all...
I am developing what I feel could be the next novel treatment for hypertension. I call it "flex therapy". It works along the same lines as causing your muscles to relax by contracting, then releasing. The premise is that you cause a person's blood pressure to shoot up sky high over and over again so that over time, the pressure tends to trend downward. I am advancing this theory using the following methods: *sending name and address on "I would like to know more about your faith" to all...
Yahoo's "Oddly enough" section has picked up on an offer of a "Lordship" for the Holidays in the article below. Well, I can't think of a batter gift for that special someone. Wouldn't mind a lordship myself. But, as I'm bent on the papacy, I'm thinking that whole church/state thing might come into play. Become a Lord for 29.99 Mon Dec 13,10:16 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters LONDON (Reuters) - The British aristocracy has long been an exclusive c...
Yahoo's "Oddly enough" section has picked up on an offer of a "Lordship" for the Holidays in the article below. Well, I can't think of a batter gift for that special someone. Wouldn't mind a lordship myself. But, as I'm bent on the papacy, I'm thinking that whole church/state thing might come into play. Become a Lord for 29.99 Mon Dec 13,10:16 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters LONDON (Reuters) - The British aristocracy has long been an exclusive c...
I'm not quite 35 (until May), but it is stalking at my doorstep, and I was contemplating the advantages of 35, and thought I would post this before my feeble grey matter starts to deteriorate further. So, here's the list I came up with: --Outlived Jesus Christ, Alexander the Great, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Janis Joplib, Jimi Hendrix -- and accomplished much, much less. --365 days from being too old to enlist in the Army on a drunken bar bet --will officially be no more than 80 millio...
I'm not quite 35 (until May), but it is stalking at my doorstep, and I was contemplating the advantages of 35, and thought I would post this before my feeble grey matter starts to deteriorate further. So, here's the list I came up with: --Outlived Jesus Christ, Alexander the Great, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Janis Joplib, Jimi Hendrix -- and accomplished much, much less. --365 days from being too old to enlist in the Army on a drunken bar bet --will officially be no more than 80 millio...
Dear ladies and gents, I feel that as a newly converted Maxwellian peasant, I have the obligation to rise to the highest heights to which I as a lowly peasant may achieve. Therefore, I went on a journey to solve all of the world's problems, first and foremost those of the blogsite known as Joeuser. My quest first took me to a little known mountain in Tibet, where I was escorted to the summit by barefoot Tibetan monks walking upon rose petals placed there by enlightened eagles that showe...
Dear ladies and gents, I feel that as a newly converted Maxwellian peasant, I have the obligation to rise to the highest heights to which I as a lowly peasant may achieve. Therefore, I went on a journey to solve all of the world's problems, first and foremost those of the blogsite known as Joeuser. My quest first took me to a little known mountain in Tibet, where I was escorted to the summit by barefoot Tibetan monks walking upon rose petals placed there by enlightened eagles that showe...
OK, I know people have tried this, but I'm not sure of their success. Maybe in my quest for employment, I could become a human ad. Having access to Vegas, I could spend my day walking up and down the strip with someone's corporate logo emblazoned on every piece of clothing that I have. I could walk up and down Fremont street after dark, hit the strip during the day, and even make myself prominently visible amidst any crowds that draw massive media attention (John Kerry IS speaking in Vegas...
OK, I know people have tried this, but I'm not sure of their success. Maybe in my quest for employment, I could become a human ad. Having access to Vegas, I could spend my day walking up and down the strip with someone's corporate logo emblazoned on every piece of clothing that I have. I could walk up and down Fremont street after dark, hit the strip during the day, and even make myself prominently visible amidst any crowds that draw massive media attention (John Kerry IS speaking in Vegas...
Ok, I think I have found a winner here. My newest, greatest reality show idea ever is a show called "Who Gets the Krispy Kremes?" The participants will be, among others, Michael Moore, Roger Ebert, Roseanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell. The concept is this: each will be placed in front of preselected audiences and see who they can piss off the worst (examples, Michael Moore in front of the young Republicans, Rosie O'Donnell in front of the 700 Club studio audience). There will also be physi...