I Have the Solution to All the World's Problems

Published on September 19, 2004 By Gideon MacLeish In Humor

Dear ladies and gents,

I feel that as a newly converted Maxwellian peasant, I have the obligation to rise to the highest heights to which I as a lowly peasant may achieve. Therefore, I went on a journey to solve all of the world's problems, first and foremost those of the blogsite known as Joeuser.

My quest first took me to a little known mountain in Tibet, where I was escorted to the summit by barefoot Tibetan monks walking upon rose petals placed there by enlightened eagles that showed us the path. When I reached the oracle upon the summit, I was dismayed to discover that he had passed on to another existence and left little clue as to the solution to the mysteries of the universe, save a scroll that contained a single sanskrit word.

I was instructed to take the scroll, and I found myself in a quest to find an expert in sanskrit, far easier said than done. When I found them, I found them extremely demanding, and they would not provide me with an answer unless I presented them with a nosehair clipping of a Yeti, a tooth from the Loch Ness monster, and a shoe from an alien from another planet (they prefer skechers).

I was very quick to find the last of these objects, as living near area 51 grants me certain "privileges" that outsiders may not easily obtain. Upon my trip to Scotland, I was dismayed to find that arrival and departure times conflicted with Sir Peter's schedule and I would not be able to meet with him as planned (his secretary said something about him "taking a peasant kid to see Dominique"...I am reasonably certain I know what he was up to).

After procuring Nessie's tooth, it was back to Tibet, where the enlightened eagles I had tipped so generously on my first trip procured for me said nosehair clipping. It is reported the Yeti was NOT happy.

Thus armed, I took these to the translators (You think getting nail clippers through customs is a bitch? They thought that nessie's tooth was a crack rock), who then told me the sanskrit word. It translated roughly into the English equivalent of something we all know and love.

And so, without further ado, I present to you: the solution to all the world's problems:

Link

Comments

SSG Geezer

on Sep 19, 2004

That is sweet!
I'll bet the yeti was unhappy, those nose hairs hurt when they get pulled.

chiprj

on Sep 19, 2004

That is awesome! I have a Magic 8-ball in my office and I take it to class sometimes. It's fun to play games using it with language learning. Might have to link that to my favorite site section.

carebear07

on Sep 19, 2004

That's so hot Gideon!! I think Muggaz needs to use it.

~carebear~

Manopeace

on Sep 20, 2004

Have I lost you forever Gideon?

canning-poverty

on Sep 20, 2004

lol....no, manopeace. I don't put loyalty to anyone above another.

Spc Nobody Special

on Sep 20, 2004

My quest first took me to a little known mountain in Tibet, where I was escorted to the summit by barefoot Tibetan monks walking upon rose petals placed there by enlightened eagles that showed us the path.

Man, did they have a USB port up there???

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