I hate "mommy blogs". In a recent article on a most UN-mommy blog, the writer was posing the question about mommy blogs. They could not remember where the comment came up, but the estrogen poured over those responses like water down the Colorado in flood season. Therefore, I MUST defend my honor in the light of these (horrible, I tells ya!) accusations. And so, this article is dedicated to those mommy bloggers (disclaimer: I am NOT referring to TW, dharma, angela, loca, or any of the JU re...
(With apologies to Janis): "Oh George, woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz The rich all drive Porsches, I must make amends I bummed all I can off my family and friends So, George woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz" "Oh, George woncha buy me an HDTV This ol' Sanyo set just ain't doin' it for me, If the picture were clearer I think I'd be free So, George, woncha buy me an HDTV?" "Oh, George, woncha buy me my next whiskey round My life is so rotten, my sorrows...
From the "You can't make this stuff up!" Department: Link Every once in awhile, there comes a time when we all must step up; when we all must give of ourselves for a greater cause to help our fellowman. This is not one of those times. Dustin Diamond, the distinguished child actor, whose numerous credits include "Saved by the Bell", and, umm, "Saved by the Bell: the college years", is in trouble of losing his house. His Port Washington, Wisconsin home is in danger of bein...
When Jeff Mortensen came home one day last November, he was in a less than cordial mood. He had received a call from school about his son's bullying behavior, for the fourth time, and he was at a loss to explain how it happened. The family had always taught their children to love and respect others. Jeff shortly received an explanation that satisfied him. As he entered the home, he heard the hard driving metal soundtrack of another of his son's PS2 games. He immediately removed the console an...
With apologies to Cheap Trick, here's my comments on the current CSPI suit against KFC (for more info, see terpfan's blog): The food police, say "don't you eat that white bread". The food police, say "trans fats will knock you dead". The food police, theyre coming to arrest me, oh no. You know that talk is cheap, and those rumors aint nice. And when I open my fridge I dont think Ill survive the night, the night. cause theyre waiting for me. Theyre look...
EA, the popular video game manufacturer, announced today a release of a new game in the video game market of its popular "Need for Speed" series. "Need for Speed: Hybrid Edition" will hit the shelves in time for the Christmas holidays, according to industry analysts, and will feature hybrid autos powering along the city streets at 45 MPH. Extra points will be given for fuel conservation and points will be subtracted for jackrabbit starts, racing the engine in idle, and other harmful wastes on...
Pardon the belated nature of this, but it is an appropriate foreword to my next thread: We're a movin' on up, (We're a movin on up.) To the east side. (Mo-vin on up.) To a de-luxe apartment, In the sky-. Mo-vin' on up (Mo-vin on up.) To the east side, (Mo-vin on up.) We finally got a big fat bribe Put that cash in the kitchen I'll cast my vote for your bill It just takes a couple Banjamins to get my vote on the hill Now we're up in the big leagues, Get...
It's the dawning of a new day. Apparently, some 30 people in Nigeria have all selected me to move their money to America via my bank account! What an honor! Along with the various offers for viagra and numerous marriage proposals (related? Naaaah, I'd figure a woman would be looking for a mate who DIDN'T need chemical assistance to perform), are the multiple emails written in Cyrillic characters. I have no idea what they say, but if the person had to send it off so quickly they couldn't bothe...
My favorite "news" source, the Onion, Link , reveals that McDonald's has joined the outlet mall trend, bu offering "Not quite perfect" menu items such as fish McGriddles and their Fruit and Pickle salad. While it would be natural to dismiss this little tidbit based on the source, let's remember they did eerily predict Gillette's five blade razor!
Jinny Robot Monster found a good website promoting the ice planet Hoth (if you're a Star Wars geek, you don't need an explanation. If you're not, you wouldn't understand it anyway) to host the 2014 Winter Olympics ( Link ). I have another suggestion: One continent has been consistently overlooked by the IOC, and that is the continent of Antarctica. Antarctica is the perfect choice, as it is internationally claimed, and has an abundance of ice and snow so that our athletes can do their thing....
Link Dug this one outta the archives. Have fun with it, folks.
As I attempt to grow and develop as a writer, I've come to realize I need a few "gimmicks". Virtually every major pundit has them. Since the "War on Christmas" gimmick worked so well for Bill O'Reilly and other pundits, I felt it necessary to wage my own "war". Easter is still some time away, and I'm afraind I will have a hard time getting an exclusive franchise on that one. I'm sure the buzzards will be back, especially as "Spring" (not Easter) break comes about, despite the fact that THAT ...
Hillary Clinton was being driven in her limo in upstate New York. As they drove along the rural roads, her driver accidentally struck a cow. Hillary was concerned, and asked the driver to go to the nearby farmhouse and inform them of the incident, and reimburse them, if need be. An hour quickly passed as the busy senator made calls to various lobbyists, and soon her driver came staggering out to the car with a box of expensive cigars, a half finshed bottle of fine wine, and the hickies all aroun...
For the uninitiated, here's the article that keyed this off: ( Link ). Apparently, MM's a crappy tipper despite his portrayal of himself as "defender of the everyman": 10. I just got off the plane and didn't get a chance to convert my money from Euro's 9. I left a lottery ticket with it; it worked for Nick Cage's character in that movie! 8. Halliburton stole it! 7. Too much Moo shoo, not enough pork. 6. Left all my cash in the GString of the stripper at the club; she was the only...
WARNING: I put this under "humor", and must warn readers that it's decidedly dark humour before they proceed. But I DO want all readers to understand that this is meant for satirical purposes only, and that if you have lost a loved one to violent crime, this is not meant to ridicule or minimize your grief. In an article ( Link ) that got too little attention for the subject matter, Locamama described a situation where a hanged woman was overlooked by passersby who thought it was a Halloween ...