The journey from there to here
Gideon MacLeish's Articles In Humor » Page 6
September 1, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
I hate "mommy blogs". In a recent article on a most UN-mommy blog, the writer was posing the question about mommy blogs. They could not remember where the comment came up, but the estrogen poured over those responses like water down the Colorado in flood season. Therefore, I MUST defend my honor in the light of these (horrible, I tells ya!) accusations. And so, this article is dedicated to those mommy bloggers (disclaimer: I am NOT referring to TW, dharma, angela, loca, or any of the JU re...
September 1, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
I hate "mommy blogs". In a recent article on a most UN-mommy blog, the writer was posing the question about mommy blogs. They could not remember where the comment came up, but the estrogen poured over those responses like water down the Colorado in flood season. Therefore, I MUST defend my honor in the light of these (horrible, I tells ya!) accusations. And so, this article is dedicated to those mommy bloggers (disclaimer: I am NOT referring to TW, dharma, angela, loca, or any of the JU re...
August 31, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
(With apologies to Janis): "Oh George, woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz The rich all drive Porsches, I must make amends I bummed all I can off my family and friends So, George woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz"   "Oh, George woncha buy me an HDTV This ol' Sanyo set just ain't doin' it for me, If the picture were clearer I think I'd be free So, George, woncha buy me an HDTV?"   "Oh, George, woncha buy me my next whiskey round My life is so rotten, my sorrows...
August 31, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
(With apologies to Janis): "Oh George, woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz The rich all drive Porsches, I must make amends I bummed all I can off my family and friends So, George woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz"   "Oh, George woncha buy me an HDTV This ol' Sanyo set just ain't doin' it for me, If the picture were clearer I think I'd be free So, George, woncha buy me an HDTV?"   "Oh, George, woncha buy me my next whiskey round My life is so rotten, my sorrows...
June 17, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
From the "You can't make this stuff up!" Department: Link   Every once in awhile, there comes a time when we all must step up; when we all must give of ourselves for a greater cause to help our fellowman. This is not one of those times. Dustin Diamond, the distinguished child actor, whose numerous credits include "Saved by the Bell", and, umm, "Saved by the Bell: the college years", is in trouble of losing his house. His Port Washington, Wisconsin home is in danger of bein...
June 17, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
From the "You can't make this stuff up!" Department: Link   Every once in awhile, there comes a time when we all must step up; when we all must give of ourselves for a greater cause to help our fellowman. This is not one of those times. Dustin Diamond, the distinguished child actor, whose numerous credits include "Saved by the Bell", and, umm, "Saved by the Bell: the college years", is in trouble of losing his house. His Port Washington, Wisconsin home is in danger of bein...
June 15, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
When Jeff Mortensen came home one day last November, he was in a less than cordial mood. He had received a call from school about his son's bullying behavior, for the fourth time, and he was at a loss to explain how it happened. The family had always taught their children to love and respect others. Jeff shortly received an explanation that satisfied him. As he entered the home, he heard the hard driving metal soundtrack of another of his son's PS2 games. He immediately removed the console an...
June 15, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
When Jeff Mortensen came home one day last November, he was in a less than cordial mood. He had received a call from school about his son's bullying behavior, for the fourth time, and he was at a loss to explain how it happened. The family had always taught their children to love and respect others. Jeff shortly received an explanation that satisfied him. As he entered the home, he heard the hard driving metal soundtrack of another of his son's PS2 games. He immediately removed the console an...
June 14, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
With apologies to Cheap Trick, here's my comments on the current CSPI suit against KFC (for more info, see terpfan's blog): The food police, say "don't you eat that white bread". The food police, say "trans fats will knock you dead". The food police, theyre coming to arrest me, oh no. You know that talk is cheap, and those rumors aint nice. And when I open my fridge I dont think Ill survive the night, the night. cause theyre waiting for me. Theyre look...
June 14, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
With apologies to Cheap Trick, here's my comments on the current CSPI suit against KFC (for more info, see terpfan's blog): The food police, say "don't you eat that white bread". The food police, say "trans fats will knock you dead". The food police, theyre coming to arrest me, oh no. You know that talk is cheap, and those rumors aint nice. And when I open my fridge I dont think Ill survive the night, the night. cause theyre waiting for me. Theyre look...
June 12, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
EA, the popular video game manufacturer, announced today a release of a new game in the video game market of its popular "Need for Speed" series. "Need for Speed: Hybrid Edition" will hit the shelves in time for the Christmas holidays, according to industry analysts, and will feature hybrid autos powering along the city streets at 45 MPH. Extra points will be given for fuel conservation and points will be subtracted for jackrabbit starts, racing the engine in idle, and other harmful wastes on...
June 12, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
EA, the popular video game manufacturer, announced today a release of a new game in the video game market of its popular "Need for Speed" series. "Need for Speed: Hybrid Edition" will hit the shelves in time for the Christmas holidays, according to industry analysts, and will feature hybrid autos powering along the city streets at 45 MPH. Extra points will be given for fuel conservation and points will be subtracted for jackrabbit starts, racing the engine in idle, and other harmful wastes on...
June 3, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
Pardon the belated nature of this, but it is an appropriate foreword to my next thread: We're a movin' on up, (We're a movin on up.) To the east side. (Mo-vin on up.) To a de-luxe apartment, In the sky-. Mo-vin' on up (Mo-vin on up.) To the east side, (Mo-vin on up.) We finally got a big fat bribe Put that cash in the kitchen I'll cast my vote for your bill It just takes a couple Banjamins to get my vote on the hill Now we're up in the big leagues, Get...
June 3, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
Pardon the belated nature of this, but it is an appropriate foreword to my next thread: We're a movin' on up, (We're a movin on up.) To the east side. (Mo-vin on up.) To a de-luxe apartment, In the sky-. Mo-vin' on up (Mo-vin on up.) To the east side, (Mo-vin on up.) We finally got a big fat bribe Put that cash in the kitchen I'll cast my vote for your bill It just takes a couple Banjamins to get my vote on the hill Now we're up in the big leagues, Get...
May 5, 2006 by Gideon MacLeish
It's the dawning of a new day. Apparently, some 30 people in Nigeria have all selected me to move their money to America via my bank account! What an honor! Along with the various offers for viagra and numerous marriage proposals (related? Naaaah, I'd figure a woman would be looking for a mate who DIDN'T need chemical assistance to perform), are the multiple emails written in Cyrillic characters. I have no idea what they say, but if the person had to send it off so quickly they couldn't bothe...