Cap'n starkers, we need your help. We have commandeered a vessel on the high seas and hogtied the cap'n, who, by all reports, was stoned out of 'is ever lovin' mind. We've stowed a goodly quantity of Jamaica's finest rum aboard and we be awaitin' yer orders.<br><br> https://forums.joeuser.com/?aid=151910#1203979<br><br> We'll send the wenches below deck when you arrive wit' our orders. We be awaitin' yer able command!
The tired puppet master returned from another harrowing day. He was growing tired of the politics of it all. For what seemed like the thousandthe time, his nemesis, the Acrhduke of Toadberry, had attempted to upstage him with a fancy new show, using pyrotechnics and some newfangled marinettes (sic...extra credit, LW?). The handbills that were distributed liberally through the square advertised the show as a " wang-dang-doodle of family fun". As he reheated last night's eggplant parmesa...
Today's 21st century anthropology class will focus on the species known has homo cubiclus, the cubicle dweller. While cubicles were an invention of the 20th century, they increased in commonality and function in the 21st Century, when the world was ruled by the Borg collective under the illustrious leadership of Billgatus of the borg. (A typical cube farm, the habitat of homo cubiclus ) (21st century despot Billgatus of Borg) (an artist's rendering of homo java , a ...
The school year's almost up, and as much as I am exhausted, I am also exhilarated. I've proved something to myself, and, quite honestly, I've decided I enjoy being back in school. And something dharma said hit me. As she is mulling going back to become a doctor, she mentioned that with all the years of schooling, she'll still be older, she'll just be older with a degree. As I've thought long and hard about where I want to go from here, since I will have my associate's by the end of the yea...
This morning, on my way in to class, I made a detour. I picked up a box of Russell Stover chocolates and three Hallmark cards. I continued on to school and presented them to the school secretary for her and her two work study assistants. They gushed over them, especially since the Dean of the college had neglected to get them anything (It was Administrative Professional's Day, BTW). Now, some might consider this to be a generous act on my part, but I will make no bones about it. This is a lea...
OK, so I'm driving into class this morning and flipped on the radio station. Pretty decent playlist this morning, then they put on "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead. Very nice. Until. The DJ. Starts. TALKING. OVER. THE. SONG!!!!!!! I was not happy. DJ's that talk over the songs they are playing should be first against the wall when the revolution comes. I found out right after that it was a lead in for a "song of the day" call in and they didn't want people thinking that was the time to call...
I was on a recent forum talking about a traffic stop. The guy being stopped was basically being a douche, from how the story was presented. But what got me were the replies. Several people wrote in that "you never argue with a cop". I have to take exception to that. The idea that police officers are some sort of unimpeachable authority, that they have unlimited rights and we're just supposed to sit there like timid sheep doesn't sit well with me. If a police officer asks me to do something h...
It looks so ominous: Link A line of T-storms off to the west headed this way. Yeah, it's part of living in this part of the country, but it's kinda cool and scary at the same time to WATCH the front moving in gradually. Now, those who know me know I LIVE for these kinds of things, so I'm hoping we get hit with a pretty decent maelstrom. I'm just wishing I could be out to chase it.
This weekend, Major League Baseball has been celebrating the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's debut in the majors (which, it must be noted, was the first time a black player played in the majors in the MODERN era, but let's save the history lessons for another day). Along with the celebration of Robinson's debut is the protest of the declining numbers of African American players, a protest that itself brings out the hypocrisy of many in the activist community. Before proceeding further, ...
A few weeks ago, the question was asked about our guilty music pleasures. I said I didn't have any, and honestly couldn't think of any at the moment. but thanks to the joy of YouTube, I have been reminded of one such pleasure a few of you might think silly. As a rule, I am not an ABBA fan. "Dancing Queen" does nothing for me. But two of their songs get excepted from the list: "Waterloo" and "Fernando". ABBA were, of course, relics from the disco era. And Waterloo certainly belongs in th...
I have decided that I now fully understand the meaning of trust.See, I opened up the fridge to scout around for leftovers. Because I am scarcely home for long stretches as of late, I can usually identify things that have migrated/been removed/been added since my last perusal. As I was scouting through the fridge, perched between the case of Miller Lite and the milk jug was an 8 by 8 pan of....something.I decided it merited a closer look.This something had hamburger in it, so hopefully we can rul...
Muaaaahhhaaaahhaaaa! My master plan is working so far to perfection. After a stellar performance by their first two starting pitchers left the Mariners above .500 despite a game 3 drubbing by the hated A's, they moved on to Cleveland, where the weather has treated them kindly. Friday's game was cancelled with one out left in the 5th, leaving the Mariners with an opportunity to turn what was a 4-0 loss into a win in the record books. Saturday's planned doubleheader was likewise cancelled. A...
Today we made a trip to the library's used book sale. It is no secret that I am a bibliophile, and so I am drawn to these things like a moth to a flame. So, off we went. I knew today was going to pay off nicely the second I walked in the door. I immediately spied a book that I instantly recognized from one of my favorites before we left Wisconsin. It is a book called "The Volume Encyclopedia", and it just may qualify as one of the coolest books of all time. It is 2594 pages long and it covers...
I love strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Of all flavors, it is my favorite. So I was quite pleased when standing in front of the selection of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. There in front of me was that nectar of the gods, strawberry cheescake ice cream. It would have been wrong of me to resist. I bought a pint. All I could think of while eating it was "damn, them hippies make great ice cream". Big chunks of strawberries, a very definite and distinct cheesecake flavor (unlike so many brand w...
I wasn't going to take the call. Last week, a salesman called me four times in a row. As in called, when the voice mail picked up, called again. Four.Times. About a half hour later, he called again and I picked up. I didn't want to, but occasionally (ever so occasionally) it is important. This one wasn't. It was a deal for Dish Network. A pretty good one, actually, so I listened to his pitch (we've been considering getting television again). It was within our price range, but I needed to wait...