The journey from there to here
Published on May 1, 2007 By Gideon MacLeish In Misc
The school year's almost up, and as much as I am exhausted, I am also exhilarated. I've proved something to myself, and, quite honestly, I've decided I enjoy being back in school.

And something dharma said hit me. As she is mulling going back to become a doctor, she mentioned that with all the years of schooling, she'll still be older, she'll just be older with a degree.

As I've thought long and hard about where I want to go from here, since I will have my associate's by the end of the year, I have thought back on the things I have a passion for. My faith and fighting for the things I feel are right.

The church has punched me so long, so hard, I don't see my future in ministry. While I still am devout in my faith, I'm sad to say I've given up on the church as an institution. You can only get kicked down so many times before you question whether you belong in the fight in the first place. I don't belong in this one, and so I surrender the church to its whitewashed tombs and will worship in my own way, far from the maddening crowd.

Which leaves the other option. I have decided that after I get my degree in Computer Technology in December, I'm going to work towards my bachelor's with the goal of going on to law school.

That's right, much as I detest them, I am going to work towards being a lawyer. I've been called a crusader in the past, and, frankly, I know a few people who could use a good crusader right about now.

I know it doesn't seem like we need more lawyers, but we sure do need a few more of the right ones, in my extremely arrogant, biased opinion. And the people I've spoken to tend to agree.

It's time for me to think about what to do with the next portion of my life. And this is what I really want to do.
Comments
on May 01, 2007

Getting a law degree does not make you a lawyer.  I actually have known some that never eitehr passed or took the bar, so they work as legal people, they just cannot represent them in a court of law.

Either way you go, I think you will do well.  And I suspect I know what area you will specialize in.  Good luck in your quest.

on May 01, 2007

Well, until you become a lawyer I can't hold it against you

Seriously, I wish you the all the best and hope things work out the way you want.

Just try to remember that it may be a little painful when they do the soul-removal as you pass the bar exam.

on May 01, 2007
I'll say the same thing I would if you sat in my office: whatever the Lord leads you to do is the best thing for you. I'm sure you and your wife have spent time in prayer about this and you realize your best place to be is in the center of His will. The world definately needs moral, God-fearing lawyers who fight for what is right. I'll pray for you and your family as you start on this path. I also hope that you won't consider all ministers or all of the Church as part of the white-washed tombs or the maddening crowd.
on May 01, 2007

I also hope that you won't consider all ministers or all of the Church as part of the white-washed tombs or the maddening crowd.

CLWebb,

You're right. I'm tired, I'm a little bitter, and I miss good fellowship. It's not a right spiritual perspective on my part, and I know it. But ultimately what drives it is, I miss being in a church where we really fit in. We clearly don't here.

I don't know why we ended up here, honestly. I don't believe anything happens by accident, and I'm sure there's a reason. I'm just wishing I could figure out what the reason was on this one. I'm hoping time makes me feel a little less bitter here, but we'll see.

I think it's becoming pretty clear to me, though, that ministry is NOT my calling, much as I would want it to be.