Being Generous Can Be a Selfish Act

Published on April 25, 2007 By Gideon MacLeish In Misc

This morning, on my way in to class, I made a detour. I picked up a box of Russell Stover chocolates and three Hallmark cards. I continued on to school and presented them to the school secretary for her and her two work study assistants. They gushed over them, especially since the Dean of the college had neglected to get them anything (It was Administrative Professional's Day, BTW).

Now, some might consider this to be a generous act on my part, but I will make no bones about it. This is a learned generosity that is in my own self interest, and I am completely unashamed by such rituals.

See, as a rule, I'm not a big fan of people, and I'm less of a fan of bureaucracy. I see these as things I must endure in my everyday life. I like individual people, I'm just not fond of the concept of people in groups. Stupidity tends to exponentially grow with the size of any group, in my experience.

That being said, I tend to identify people who could be of help to me in certain capacities. And I make it a point to be nice to these people. Call it sucking up, call it whatever you want, but it is a necessary skill to learn to adapt to society. But where some people tend to identify the biggest fish in the pool, I make it a point to be nice to those lower on the food chain. Because, in business, if you're not nice to the secretary, you MAY NOT get through the front door.

When I managed group homes, I purchased printed pens. Whenever someone would pick up extra shifts I would give them a pen as a thank you. I knew it was a small gesture, but within about six months' time we went from the group home that could not get subs to having one of the highest sub pools. I'd like to think that small tokens of appreciation may have had a little to do with that.

My rule is "take care of the people who take care of you". Yes, I know it's a paraphrase of the 80's Dan Marino Isotoner glove commercial, but it's still good advice. In business, you will deal with the people "low on the food chain" far more often than you deal with the higher ups and how you treat them will strongly affect the service you get. So, yeah, it's selfish. But sometimes being selfish is not an altogether bad thing.

Comments

Andrew Carver

on Apr 25, 2007

Gid, I hate to say this, but maybe this is one of the reasons that you keep having problems with people in your town. You want others to do things you aren't willing to do. About your "rule." I think the better rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I understand that you are just blogging and that most of this stuff isn't serious, but, I'm just a concerned friend and I really do care.

Gideon MacLeish

on Apr 25, 2007

Gid, I hate to say this, but maybe this is one of the reasons that you keep having problems with people in your town.

Umm, I have NO problems with the people in the community where I work or go to school, thank you very much, Andrew.

WHERE in this article did I state I wanted others to do things I am not willing to do? NOWHERE! MY comment was that treating people decently nets decent results; how is that a NEGATIVE COMMENT?

As for this community, you're right, Andrew. I risked my ass on the front end of a firetruck for two years because I expected others to do jobs I wouldn't do.

I'm sorry, Andrew, but you touched a VERY raw nerve. I was TOLD why SOME people hate me in this town, and I have explained that so often that you CAN'T have missed it, so I won't repeat it. I have ALSO explained that these problems do NOT follow me to the community where the majority of my time is spent, so your assumptions simply don't hold water. If I were truly the asshole you want to cast me as, they would follow me.

The funny thing is, the secretaries didn't seem to mind the chocolate or the cards. THEY, at least, were thankful.

just john

on Apr 25, 2007

I think the better rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Maybe I just don't get it but that appears to be what he is doing here. He is being kind to people who can show him kindness in the way of cutting through red tape.

It is possible that I do get your true intent though. You are trying to be deliberately antagonistic to dredge up old feuds so you can stir the pot. Way to be an ass hat!

Dr Guy

on Apr 25, 2007

Administrative Assistant day? My secretary resents that!

But you are wise. The VPs do not run things, their secretaries do! I learned that lesson a long time ago.

Suck away! And good show!

JillUser

on Apr 25, 2007

I think seemingly selfish acts are done for selfish reasons all the time. Matter of fact, if you didn't get a good feeling from giving to others, you probably wouldn't do it. I, for instance, like to bake for other people. I am thankful for having healthy kids so we donate to a slew of children's health organizations.

If both sides are getting something from it, how can it be negative?

Andrew sounds a bit holier than thou to me.

MasonM

on Apr 25, 2007

I've found that it's always beneficial to treat others well. It's simple human nature. If someone is nice to me, I tend to be nice to them. That's the way the world works. And yes, there is a certain amount of selfishness involved with random acts of kindness.

dynamaso

on Apr 25, 2007

This is the very reason I can get things done at work when my boss fails miserably. It might not be chocolates and a card, but sometimes, it doesn't need to be.

As Jill said, if we didn't get something out of being nice to others, none of us would be.

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