The journey from there to here

It was just another hot Texas day. I was in line at the WalMart Supercenter (you know the one that stretches all the way back to layaway because they don't want to open another checkout? We've all been there). After the interminable Bataan death march to the front of the store, I was now second in line, unwittingly being updated on Britney Spears' prenatal bliss and eroding marriage and the updated exploits of Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie as they attempt to adopt their 437th child from a small village in Madagascar, and the lady in front of me was quite weary, with three children in tow, one of them apparently traumatized because she had forcibly stripped him away from the Superman costume he so desperately wanted. She had the standard groceries on the counter, with the normal sugar laden foods to placate her screaming children (as well, I am sure, as to give herself a chocolate fix to save the day). What happened next was so predictable, as it replicated scenes I have seen over and over again, in my various excursions to the Mecca of materialism.

The cashier rung up her order, and announced the total. The woman had a brief "ah, crap" moment as she realized that she had miscalculated her purchases and had to cut a few items off the list. As she perused the counter, realizing that she would have to pare her purchases down to the more essential ones, her eyes cruised past the sodas and the candy without even pausing. She stopped as she looked at the baby formula. That would have to go, she decided, and removed it from play. Next up was the laundry soap.

If I hadn't seen it so often, I would assume she was overstocked at home and didn't need those items as bad as the others. But experience has taught me that all too many parents are willing to sacrifice the more essential items for survival in favor of "luxury" items such as cigarettes, candy, and sodas that they simply do not need and have no business buying if they can't afford the more essential items.

Some months ago, I had a friend ask me to pick him up a case of soda in town. This friend is a known mooch, and I knew my money would be gone as soon as it was spent. I'm as much a stickler on buying soda for someone when they're down and out as I am of buying beer or cigarettes: You don't need it, and if you really must have it, you'll wait until you have your own money. This same individual was flabbergasted when I answered his desperate plea to rescue him from starvation with a bag of pinto beans and rice. Hey, it's food for a couple of days, and, best of all, it doesn't cost me much so I can dole out a lot of it. If you want the steak and lobster, though, you'll have to earn it yourself.

The lady, of course, was a composite of so many I have encountered in life. Sure, she may have had more money at home and decided the formula and laundry soap could wait for the return trip. And, in fact, she just may have. But too many people don't, and maybe it's time we start dealing with the fact that a caviar lifestyle should only be bought by those who have the money to afford caviar.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 28, 2006

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about because I see it all the time. 

The most outragous thing I ever saw was at a Super Walmart a couple of years back.  A black couple with a baby were in line with a cart full of frozen, fresh and canned foods, diapers, formula, sodas, beer, milk and cheese.  These people hadn't MIS-calculated, Gid, they hadn't even bothered to calculate at all.  The woman kept asking for a total from the cashier, and when it got close to the limit of funds she had available, she started picking through what was left in the cart.  The sodas, beer, chips and bread were all the first things to get bagged up ready to be taken home.  The frozen and fresh fruit and veggies were left behind in the cart, as were the diapers and formula. 

As if that weren't bad enough, the couple left the cart with the rejected (and by now thawing) frozen and fresh foods in it in front of me at the register and just walked away. I had to move the cart so that I could get to the register to unload mine and then someone had to come and dispose of all it's contents.  They couldn't put it back in the freezer because it wasn't frozen any more.  What they did with the fresh stuff, I have no idea.

I see people wearing Nike shoes and Phat farm clothing smoking cigarettes, complaining about how they can't afford diapers or baby food whilst their dirty children dressed in tatty and stained clothes run amok in the store EVERY TIME I go to Wal-Mart.  It sickens me.

I do, however, have a question for you.  What do you think the solution to this problem is?  I know how anti-CPS you are, so what's the answer? 

on Jun 28, 2006

This scenario is the primary reason I believe we need to do away with government welfare programs. The sad truth is, all too many of the food purchases are made with the food stamp funds the family hasn't traded away. And there is just no way the government can oversee every purchase to make sure the family is spending their money wisely.

In my "perfect" world, ANY assistance program would be pretty intensive, and privately based. Families would be matched with a volunteer who would assist them on shopping decisions, and pretty strictly limit what purchases are made with the funds that the charity was providing. The focus of the programs would be to teach families how to manage their money once they were earning it. Sure, a lot of the families would drop out of the programs, but the truly needy would not, and some might even be grateful for the job skills they are taught.

We are creating our own "lost generation" of children who age out of a system that knows nothing more than to throw money at problems. These children (and younger adults) have not been taught self reliance, but have rather been instructed that a safety net will always exist to prevent their personal failure, and that such safety nets are their birthright. Un-teaching that will not be an easy process, nor will it be a short one, but it is absolutely essential if we are to survive as a nation.

 

on Jun 28, 2006

Your topic is very serious and true.  But your title is a riot!

Growing up, we were poor. And rarely if ever saw a soda (except when sick).  But about once a month, my mother would come home from he store with some candy treats.  My brother and sisters would ravenously scarf their down, while I just minded my own business.

The next day at school, I would sell my candy - so I could buy a soda!

on Jun 28, 2006
Growing up, we were poor. And rarely if ever saw a soda (except when sick). But about once a month, my mother would come home from he store with some candy treats. My brother and sisters would ravenously scarf their down, while I just minded my own business.


I learned my first scam based on candy. Back when food stamps were still "paper", we were taught to go into various stores and buy 3 cent candy with a dollar food stamp. This returned 97 cents on the dollar, as opposed to the "fenced" rate of about 50 cents, and we got to keep the candy as a bonus. When our food stamps came out every month, the four of us would traipse into area stores and do our duty to fence the money for mum and (step)dad.
on Jun 28, 2006
Poor as we were, my mother refused any type of assistance. We did not have caviar lifestyles (and only saw steaks on TV - a B&W), but we did ok.
on Jun 28, 2006
We lived with my mom for a short period of time as kids and she received food stamps. We'd eat steak and drink milk for the first four days of the month, move on to sugar bread and milk by the second week, the third week we'd hit the food pantry's but they were wise back then and called each other to keep track of who was using it, so no double dipping....and usually by the last week of the month we did not eat anything and were literally starving.

All that to say....so YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! You look at what other people are buying and make judgments! hahahahahahahaha. This just struck my funny bone today Gid because my girlfriend and I were discussing this some time back.

We were at Wal-Mart and everyone from our town shops there. You can't walk two isles without seeing someone you know.

She's a bit goofy but I like her anyway....and she didn't want to buy KY Jelly. I was like "WHY NOT? If you need it buy it sheesh!"

She said, "I don't want someone seeing me buying this stuff."

I was like...what? No one cares what you buy. No one looks at your purchases. Are you so self absorbed you think people come to Wal-Mart and WANT to see what you're buying then talk bad about you for it?

Buwhahahahahaha.

She didn't buy it. Now I see why.
on Jun 28, 2006
She's a bit goofy but I like her anyway....and she didn't want to buy KY Jelly. I was like "WHY NOT? If you need it buy it sheesh!"


LOL...if someone buys KY jelly, it's nothing to me. If they buy KY jelly, but put back the diapers because they don't have enough money, then it's a tad odd.

People who have to "put back" a lot of items ALWAYS draw my attention, Tova. Because they take up an inordinate amount of time, and I'm wanting to get out of that store.

Tell your friend to buy all the KY jelly she wants. But if she buys it in 55 gallon drums, or if they have to do a price check, it MIGHT draw my attention...but only for opvious reasons!
on Jun 28, 2006
But if she buys it in 55 gallon drums, or if they have to do a price check, it MIGHT draw my attention...but only for opvious reasons!


ROFL.

You are a very funny man!
on Jun 28, 2006
Reminds me of a joke I heard David Lettermen tell:

When I was in Las Vegas a guy comes up to me on the street and says "Hey, Mr. Letterman, I need to have a serious operation and I need some money. Could you please give me some money?" And I'm a little cynical, so I say "Oh, yeah? How do I know you're not just gonna gamble with it? " Immediately the guy says, "Oh, no, I already got gambling money."
on Jun 28, 2006
With a title like that?  You are featured!  Congrats!
on Jun 28, 2006
Gideon:
In my "perfect" world, ANY assistance program would be pretty intensive, and privately based. Families would be matched with a volunteer who would assist them on shopping decisions, and pretty strictly limit what purchases are made with the funds that the charity was providing. The focus of the programs would be to teach families how to manage their money once they were earning it. Sure, a lot of the families would drop out of the programs, but the truly needy would not, and some might even be grateful for the job skills they are taught.


Oh my gosh, our church has precisely the program you described. It's been flourishing in wisdom since the 1920's, completely independent of the government.Link

In addition to what you described, the funds for this church welfare program come from each person's fast offering. That's a whole lot of people contributing just a little bit to make a big difference to those in need! While the needy are being helped, they receive education and employment assistance, all with one-on-one attention.
on Jun 28, 2006

In my "perfect" world,

Actually, I was really looking for an answer in the 'real' world that we're living in now.  In a perfect world, we wouldn't need to have ANY assistance programs.....but, as we know, this world aint perfect.  I'm wondering what your solution to this problem is, in a 'real' world scenario.

on Jun 28, 2006
That's one thing that I think WIC gets right. You can only use it to purchase healthy, nutritious foods.

I know a family that would water down their baby's formula to save money. They had plenty of money for clothes and cars etc. I mean you have to cut back somewhere! It just makes me sick. People like this shouldn't have kids. There are so many things to be cheap on, why be cheap on feeding your baby? It's very sad.

and usually by the last week of the month we did not eat anything and were literally starving.


Tova, this is why I would hate to see the welfare system abolished. I just hate to see kids starving because of bad choices the parents made. I know your mom didn't use hers wisely or she would have fed you for the whole month but at least you got a week or two of food instead of a whole month of going to sleep hungry.

on Jun 29, 2006
I knew a woman who used her food stamps to buy soda so that she could get the bottle deposit so she could put gas in her tank so she could go to work.

Yes, there are people who use their resources foolishly. Some people just do what they gotta do.

And sometimes, when you are so ground down, you buy the luxury items to convince yourself that you aren't down to pinto beans and rice just yet.

Well written article btw.
on Jun 29, 2006
Nice title. Very apt.
Reminds me of a girl I work with; we were on break one Friday morning, and she was all depressed and down because she wanted to take her kids somewhere nice for the weekend, but had no money for such such things, or even for the gas to get them there.
So, she sighed and lit up another of the Marlboros from the two packs she had stacked next to her, and struck up a rollicking conversation with one of the partygirls at the table about how she couldn't wait to go out and get drunk and/or stoned that night. I just shook my head.
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