Alcoholics Anonymous and the Cult of Victimhood

Published on December 18, 2005 By Gideon MacLeish In Misc

Some time ago, LW blogged about AA as a "faith healing" organization. I wanted to link to that article as inspiration, but I couldn't find the link (if you find it, feel welcome to link it here).

I believe AA has done far worse than that. I believe that AA is one of the agents that has brought about our culture of "victimhood"; a culture that is slowly destroying us as a country.

I lived most of the first 33 years of my life as a victim. My actions were always the fault of a bad upbringing, of physical and/or mental limitations, of the people around me. I had grown up in an AA minded culture, and the fact that I was "powerless" over these things and dependent upon a higher power to "rescue" me was a central component of my thinking. This was driven home in the various churches I attended at the time; all I needed was enough "faith" and no action on my part, and redemption was mine.

I remember the moment my awakening came like it was yesterday. I was on the phone with my father, listening to the same verbal abuse, the same belittling and condescending attitude he had used on me from the cradle. It occured to me suddenly that I didn't HAVE to take this, that by simply hanging up the phone I could be rid of that particular influence forever. I hung up the phone, wrote a letter that never got sent, had a good cry and haven't looked back since. Sometimes I miss my father, but I don't miss the chains that relationship entails.

A look around us shows how widespread the cult of victimhood has become. Murderers are no longer murderers, they are "victims of a racist upbringing"; terrorists are no longer terrorists, they are "sincere but misguided victims of manipulative leaders"; robbers and thieves are victims of capitalism. And it all stems from the same philosophy that drives organizations such as AA.

It took me 33 years to realize I was only a victim if I allowed myself to be. That I and I alone am responsible for my success or failure in this life, and that if I don't like my circumstances, I have the power to change it. To realize that it wasn't years of abuse but rather my own self indulgence that caused me to eat those extra few thousand calories. To realize that I only have a right to the PURSUIT of happiness; that the actual possession of such is my own responsibility. Hopefully one day a few more folks will realize those same facts.

Comments (Page 2)

Gideon MacLeish

on Dec 19, 2005

And Gid, Im glad I inspire you, but im a tad peeved at the moment over your Christmas Materialism article, since you allowed no time to elapse after I posted mine on the exact same topic.

Actually, mine had a different spin, and has been brewing for a LONG time. When I write, I am limited to which of the hundreds of topics that have crossed my mind since the last time I blogged I can recall when I can access the computer. And, naturally, the Christmas topics are high on the list. If I wait until the next time I can get online, I'm likely to have forgotten te whole thing (sadly, notebooks or tape recorders aren't a very practical answer to this problem, or I'd try them).

bakerstreet

on Dec 19, 2005

Please help me understand how looking up the names of everyone I've had contact with in the past and apologizing to them for the "hurt" I caused helps me? Especially when in my case (overeating) the person who was hurt was ME.

It's not for me to judge, frankly. If it doesn't work for you, then you have the right to judge. If it works for others, they ahve the right to judge. I think the one thing we don't have the right to do is dictate to an organization that exists solely to help people, and does, even if it is a small minority.

If the answers are so obvious, why aren't there other organizations that do the job without these things you hate? Why are people checked in and out and in and out of every one of them? I just think in lieu of something better, we should let people who want to dedicate their lives to people with substance abuse problems do so.

Moderateman

on Dec 19, 2005

15 by Dr. Guy
Monday, December 19, 2005

That is an amazing insight! Thanks for sharing it. And have a cookie on me.

thank you doc, it was an amazing insight when I had it sitting in a meeting. I left in middle of meeting and have never looked back.

Gideon MacLeish

on Dec 19, 2005

The problem I have, Baker, is exactly what I've expressed in the title. EVERY 12 stepper I've ever met has had the classic "victim" outlook...it's not their fault, it's a disease, you need to understand it...blah, blah, blah. Now, I grant you that I haven't met all, or even most twelve steppers, but the "victim" mentality is played out everywhere I look...on the news media when disaster strikes, you name it. I believe AA to be one of the principle causes for this mentality.

dharmagrl

on Dec 19, 2005

Dharma can say that it is just replacing one addiction with another, but that is her opinion of God and religion, it isn't universal by any means.

Nope, it's not, and I never said that it was. I'm just telling you about MY experience with AA and NA and the 12 step program. Oh, and for the record, that's not my ENTIRE opinion of god and religion, that's just my observation whilst I was in rehab. SOME people, not ALL, just SOME people unconciously replaced their addiction to chemicals with an addiction to god and redemption.

I don't know why, Baker, but it seems to me that my experiences (or anyone elses for that matter) don't mean much to you if they contradict your opinion.

sushiK

on Dec 19, 2005

South Park actually just hit home on this topic in their recent episode.
AA followers are "powerless" over their affliction and there is nothing they can do about.

They do hit home with their messages sometimes.

bakerstreet

on Dec 19, 2005

"I don't know why, Baker, but it seems to me that my experiences (or anyone elses for that matter) don't mean much to you if they contradict your opinion."

They mean a great deal to me so far as they relate to you and what I can learn from them. I'm just not sure what you think they SHOULD mean in the face of the people who ARE helped by AA. You have a beef with this organization, obviously. A lot of people have a beef with a lot of things.

Maybe it isn't effective enough for you, and maybe you don't like how they do their work. That's your right. IF you guys want to paint AA as some myth that never helps anyone, fine, but I find it hard to believe knowing people who have been benefited by it.

Like I say, until the Betty Ford foundation wants to put store fronts in all these small towns, I'm not sure how you intend to fill the vacuum. I come from a part of the US where a lot of people spent the last hundred years ago laying around in poverty and drinking themselves to death. I have seen AA help people.

I'm just not sure what your experience is leading you in terms of people who DON'T have your insight. Even If I could refer the people with problems I meet to you, how many don't I know?

"Hey, if a person wants to subject themselves to voluntary brainwashing that usually fails, thats their business. It becomes the public's business, however, when we are asked to foot the bill via higher insurance premiums (in a health care industry gone mad with overcharges in the first place) or because some court ordered them in so the State assumes the cost, sticking us with the bill as taxpayers."

Hell yeah, whip. I'm sick of paying for hospice, too. It doesn't help anyone. In addition, lets just say anyone with less than 5% chance of recovery be cut off from treatment. Why should we have to pay for such a longshot? I'm trying to imagine the frame of mind a person would have to be in to pretend people are better off drinking themselves to death than taking a chance on AA. It's a sick, sad perspective, lemme tell ya.

If AA keeps 5% of those who seek help from victimizing their families, killing people on the highways, and drinking themselves to death, I'm fine with it, thanks. Until the enlightened here come up with something better, mind you...

dharmagrl

on Dec 19, 2005

Where did I ever say it shouldnt exist? That people shouldnt be allowed to dedicate their lives to it?

You didn't. And neither did I. We are two people who have tried to work the 12 steps. We are two people who know not only that it didn't work for us but WHY it didn't work for us. We are two people who have decided to deal with our demons and find our own way of keeping them at bay, and who are, for the most part, doing a good job of it.

Some people will call us failures because we're not working the steps. I say the people who are the real failures are the ones who never get past step one or two before relapsing, but who are accepted because they're trying to work those steps again...and again....and again. The ones who live in a state of perpetual victimhood.

I'm nobody's victim but my own. Period.

dharmagrl

on Dec 19, 2005

You have a beef with this organization, obviously.

My only beef with AA is that they say their way is the ONLY way to sobriety, despite the fact that 95% of the people who work the steps will relapse. Hey, if it works for people, then more power to them. Just don't tell me I'm failing because I'm not working the steps. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm sober and clean, I'm a success story.

Greg

on Dec 19, 2005

I went to AA because I was required to by my government sponsored alcoholism program. It got me started in the right direction. I did the 12 steps, I went to a lot of meetings, I got a sponsor. And I got sober. That was in 1978.

I stopped going to meetings after about three months because I moved, got a new career, changed from military life to civilian. I stayed sober. Whatever you call it, at that time, I needed AA, and it worked for me.

Last week, I was going to buy some cooking wine for a new recipe, but I thought about it and decided to skip that ingredient. Why? Because I don't need that bottle around. I'm still sober, and I haven't had a drink since 1978. Proud of it? Well, as proud as one can be of NOT doing something, I guess. I still remember hangovers, and guilt trips, and blackouts; and it's nice not to have those anymore. I'm grateful to AA. I just got my brother to start going, and it's hard for him without a drivers license anymore.

I know that it doesn't work for everyone. It's very much a local "organization", too. It's not like, "We're going to pick our best recovering alcoholic and send him to Nationals." Get a better perspective: go to a meeting.

-Greg
gregfinn@gmail.com

Gideon MacLeish

on Dec 19, 2005

Get a better perspective: go to a meeting.

Greg,

First, and foremost: I am glad AA worked for you. It's good that you turned your life around.

As for going to a meeting, I believe the most outspoken against the "cult of victimhood" as I call it on this thread are dharma, LW and myself. As we all clearly stated, we've all been through the 12 step process. So we DO have the needed perspective to address the issue.

bakerstreet

on Dec 19, 2005

I really don't like coming off like such a crab, but see this from another perspective. AA is an option that works for some people. We seem to have three people here who overcame their problem or at least control it. There are people who simply will not do that. There are people who will victimize their famlies and kill themselves through alcoholism.

If there were something better, I could see critiquing AA as an option in favor of something better. I've spent too much time with people who abused their families and died way too early to poo-poo ANY option until there is something else.

Again, I grew up in places where I saw people who weren't above drinking rubbing alcohol and spraying hair spray into a paper cup. I saw how their kids ended up when sober people right next door had kids who grew up to live vastly different lives.

Frankly, any option is worth devoting resources to, in my opinion.

Moderateman

on Dec 19, 2005

I have a totally different perspective on AA AND na I have seen and met many people that have stayed sober for many years through the steps. Some do, some don't

bakerstreet

on Dec 19, 2005

LW: You think that people with a 5% chance of recovery are denied the drugs they take? People are often offered chemo with worse odds than that. The drug I am supposed to be taking has a 20-30% track record.

When I looked at the doctor and ask him why I should tolerate having my hair fall out, he said he figured any chance was better than KNOWING my guts were going to rot inside me and dying a hideous death. So yeah, there's a lot of drugs out there with a percentage tagged to them.

As I said, I've seen people who'd drink rubbing alcohol if that is all they could get. I promise you, I'm not lying, and it isn't a debate tactic. I knew them, I knew their kids. You think 5% is too little for people like that who are going to kill themselves anyway?

P.S. and just to be a TAD snide... does anyone else notice that the three people talking about how bad AA is have beaten or controlled their addiction? Is it beyond the slightest chance that AA had something to do with that, even the smallest bit?

Could it be slightly possible that you took something away from AA that helped you, even if you didn't agree with ALL of it?

Gideon MacLeish

on Dec 19, 2005

P.S. and just to be a TAD snide... does anyone else notice that the three people talking about how bad AA is have beaten or controlled their addiction? Is it beyond the slightest chance that AA had something to do with that, even the smallest bit?

Could it be slightly possible that you took something away from AA that helped you, even if you didn't agree with ALL of it?

In my case, baker...NO. In fact, I had to deprogram myself from the AA way of thinking. I stupidly pursued toxic relationships for many years believing that I had to make some sort of "amends". It was when I realized that I owed those individuals NOTHING that I began to be able to deal with my addiction.

The central theme of AA is, to put it simply: I am a victim. That's why I oppose it. I refuse to be a victim and I believe that I need to hold MYSELF accountable for my actions, not some disease, or higher power.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!