When my siblings and I were growing up, we would approach our father asking what he wanted for Christmas. "Nothing", was the standard reply, "I don't like Christmas, but I want you and the others to enjoy it". As I grew older, this was my model for "selflessness"; in my mind, expecting nothing materially while giving generously to those around you was a virtue, to be emulated and taught to others.

Having kids changed my opinion on that.

You see, children that grow with the model of giving want themselves to give. They scrimp and save to give their family the best gifts they can afford, because they've learned that one way to show affection to those you love is through gifts. The worst thing a parent can do to a child who wants to give them something to show them their love is to tell them they don't want anything, to deny THEM the joy of giving.

You see, giving's a two way street. Other people get as much joy out of giving as I do, and to deny them that privilege while selfishly indulging my own desires (even when they outwardly appear selfless) is perhaps the most selfless thing I can do. To many individuals, a gift is a token of themselves; how you esteem their gifts reflects in their minds on how you esteem THEM.

So, for the past several years as we've travelled through department stores, I comment on the types of gifts I would like. I'm careful not to comment on the "big ticket" items, but to point out items within my childrens' price ranges that I would like to receive. There is, after all, no better gift that I can give them than to know that their gifts are appreciated and cherished, just as they themselves are.