I admit to a certain degree of "creative liberties" with my resume, but never to the point of implying qualifications for a job I couldn't handle. The fact is, I ask myself what job skills a job requires, and have I done substantially similar work to what I would be required to do on that job? Then, I cater my job description to the set of job skills required.

That being said, here are a few job descriptions I DON'T use, but are not entirely wrong:

(Paper Carrier):

Media Distribution Specialist: Responsible for daily distribution of print media to 400 outlets. Maintained financial records, handled customer service issues and coordinated contacts with various clientele.

(Janitor):

Sanitary Operations Technician: Propelled dust extraction device across floor repeatedly, maintained integrity of waste disposal equipment and monitored and purchased inventory of equipment to achieve same.

(Fry Cook):

Bovine incineration specialist: Responsible for processing of 2000 4-ounce pieces of animal flesh per day for public consumption.

(Waitress):

Customer Service Specialist: Relayed and processed individual client requests for various items.

Got more? (or better; these ideas were funnier on the road last night). Put 'em here!