A couple of recent blogs prompted this one. The blogs centered around the frustration of parents in dealing with their children, and, in one case, the accusation that Terri Schiavo (referred in the past by that poster as "that bitch!") was entirely responsible for her own death.
The thing that struck me as a common thread in all of those blogs is that they don't understand the impact of a good, honest friendship. They also had limited understanding of what it i like to deal with chronic mental illness.
Many credible psychologists have made the statement that if everyone had one truly GOOD friend, there would be no need for psychologists. By "good friend", they obviously meant someone who had a close friendship with the individual and was willing to not only speak the honest, hard truth when it needs to be spoken, but to reach out to the individual with emotional and physical needs when the situation requires it.
Sadly, such friends are extremely rare in this day and age. We've become a "me first" society that is all too willing to appropriate the responsibilities of friendship to a government agency that is unfeeling and uncaring. We can then shift blame when the response is wrong.
Churches, likewise, have become business enterprises with 501(c)3 protection. They pander to their audiences and work to fill the pews, with little real regard for the individual. In many of these churches (dubbed "megachurches" and "gigachurches"), the congregation is fortunate if they've ever shaken the hand of the pastor, and the counselling, once considered the responsibility of a pastor, is now delegated, often at some cost, to businessmen with a philosophy that's friendly to, but not necessarily centered around, the faith of the particular church (something the Bible refers to as "serving mammon", but as this is not a religious blog, following that thread would be a major tangent).
In short, friendship has become a luxury of the fortunate, and not a right of the individual. Liberals wishing to improve the inner city rarely take time to visit the inner city, and, with rare exception, an analysis of their friends is highly unlikely to include ANY of the individuals they profess a wish to "help". In short,they won't muddy their hands with these people. Conservatives are equally to blame, but without the hypocrisy and pretense of "sympathizing with these individuals".
What we need, then, is to spend more time building friendships, especially to those we are inclined to dislike. We don't need to "wallow in their filth", so to speak, but maybe if we work a little harder to truly get to know these individuals, we can make the world a better place for both ourselves AND them. This is especially true where single mothers are concerned. While I have known mothers who have abused the kindness of friends by leaving their children for days at a time while they party till the cows come home, I know at least an equal number of single mothers who have tried to endure on their own and have made inappropriate decisions because they were, quite simply,exhausted. A true friendship would center around being honest to the former group and finding ways to teach responsibility, and assisting the latter group in any way one can.
Most problems that come about are very complex, and cannot be fairly analyzed with a superficial approach. They're usually more difficult than we realize. Only by reaching out and becoming friends can we truly begin to understand the situation, and, by doing so, can liberate the world, one person at a time.
But stop asking the government to do it for you.