Apparently, the New Jersey Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has too light a workload.

The group filed a complaint against Kraft Foods for its plans to make "Gummi roadkill" animals (snakes, squirrels, etc), complete with tire treads, on the premise that it teaches children to be cruel to animals.

See, this is why juvenile violence is on the rise. No longer is it PC to "experiment" on flies by removing their wings and limbs one by one, or to put salt in increasingly smaller concentric circles around slugs to watch them melt away like the Wicked Witch from "the Wizard of Oz". No, our "kinder, gentler" nation has failed to enable the violent side that is so integral to who we are and children, lacking an acceptable outlet, turn on each other with violent fury.

So, give us back our gummy roadkill. Let us poison pigeons in the park. Not only will our cities become cleaner, happier places, but we just might stop hurting each other.