Children Should Be Seen and Not Heard?

Published on December 21, 2004 By Gideon MacLeish In Home & Family

In iamheather's piece "He's Just a Child!", Link , she details a confrontation with a rather disagreeable neighbour. Sadly, the neighbour's attitude seems to be the prevailing one among a society today that has come to despise children (as we discovered in Pahrump, Nevada, when, time after time, we were denied housing because of having children).

As one who grew up being puniched for my loquacious nature (the most poignant example I can remember is of my stepmom pinning colthespins to my mouth to hold it shut when I was seven years old; it was a common occurence, coupled with using duct tape to hold my mouth shut, that caused emotional scars from which I don't think I will ever completely recover), I have always cherished the sounds of childhood in my home. My children have grown up being able to grow, explore, and be themselves, in the hopes that it will make them stronger, more mature and confident adults.

While we tend to be traditionalists in many aspects of running our family, the concept of "children should be seen and not heard" is one that I firmly belives belongs back in the Puritan era and NOT in this day and age.

Comments

Poetmom99

on Dec 21, 2004

ITA, Gideon. I much prefer my children to have opinions and to feel free to express them. I am appalled by your description of what was done to you by your stepmother. No one should ever have to experience that. I'm sorry that you went through it.

Danny Bassette

on Dec 21, 2004

I'm of the opinion that kids should be able to run and scream and play, but they should also know when it's time to be quiet. Which is an interesting thing to teach them, I know enough adults who don't have that one down...

Ravenblack

on Dec 21, 2004

Children are always understandably noisy and playful. I admit I cannot stand kids who enjoy letting out constant high pitched screams, but children who are too quiet creeps me out. (I have a pair cousins who are creepy like that.)

Some parents should really watch their kids and supervise them properly instead of letting them run wild in inappropriate places like shopping malls, busy roads and on buses or trains. Some parents don't seem to know when NOT to let their kids 'express themselves'. A kid playing on the monkey bars is good physical activity, a kid playing monkey bars with the handgrips on a moving train is not. Kids running up and down the stairs playing catch is fine, kids running up and down escalators in the mall is dangerous.

>> I can remember is of my stepmom pinning colthespins to my mouth to hold it shut when I was seven years old; it was a common occurence, coupled with using duct tape to hold my mouth shut

That's just plain cruel. But I remember being threatened with that by my teacher...

shadesofgrey

on Dec 21, 2004

I agree. There are times for kids to be loud and boisterous, and there are time for them to be respectful and quiet.

Being that I don't have children (however, I have nannied extensively) I probably have unpopular opinions on this--however, when I go to the store or the movie theatre, or out to dinner, I don't want to hear your child screaming. It's not cute, or funny, or any other word you (not you, Gid, the general "you") might use to describe it. It's just plain rude.

I got so fed up this weekend in Target by an child (approximately 8 yrs old and screaming at the top of his lungs) that I politely told him that in stores we use our inside voices, not our outside voices (the child was giving me a headache). The parents were obviously upset that I reprimanded their child--my feeling on that--as a parent you need to teach your child manners, but if you fail to do so, I am fully within my rights to tell your sweet precious child to shut up (politely of course).

So yes, children should be allowed to run free and play and express opionions, but they should also be taught to be respectful of people around them.

Gideon MacLeish

on Dec 22, 2004

Yes, I agree that children need to be taught that there are appropriate places for their release of energy...and that shopping centers aren't it. But balance CAN be achieved; we receive continual compliments from people we meet on the fact that our children are quiet and well mannered. Yet, get them home (or in the neighbor's yard), and you quickly see their "true selves". I believe that, if home isn't a place where kids can feel free to let loose with a certain amount of noise (although the kids know the rule--when the phone comes out, it's time to lower their voices, for instance), then where can they be themselves?

shadesofgrey

on Dec 22, 2004

Gideon--I agree completely. I wish more people we as attentive to their children as you clearly are to yours.

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