I'm not a big fan of sex education in the schools. I think it's a shame that it is even debatable as a necessity, and I almost always disagree with the perspectives of those teaching it. Ideally, sex education should be taught at home in a proper environment.

But it's that word "ideally" that muddies the waters. And it is because of that that abstinence only sex education should not be the choice for public schools.

See, I'm among the crowd that refuses to concede failure. I am not going to take for granted that my kids don't have the self respect and libido control to at least hold off until they're in a committed relationship (as adults, and preferably marriage). I give my kids credit for being more intelligent than that. In our home, at least, abstinence is taught as the desirable standard, and it is what is expected.

So why shouldn't it be that way for public schools?

It's pretty simple, really. In our home, our children have two loving, nurturing parents. They have youth leaders, Sunday School teachers, people who are INVOLVED in their lives. These people are ready to help them when difficult decisions come up, and while there are no guarantees, it is certainly more likely that they will have the opportunity to stay abstinent until marriage.

The kinds of kids who need sex ed in the schools don't have those things. They don't have the core values that sex before marriage is wrong, and they don't have active parents or adults heavily invested in their success. These kids almost certainly will have sex before marriage, and, more often than not, they will have it early (of course, some of the kids from the first group will as well, but the numbers are statistically smaller).

It would be irresponsible for an educator to set these kids up for failure knowing the path that is before them. Abstinence is not an option for many of these kids, because they don't have the home environment that teaches abstinence as a virtue. Quite simply, the values aren't being reinforced at home.

So in the absence of a moral foundation, it is the responsibility of interested adults to work towards the best outcome. Condoms and birth control pills, while not the kind of thing we want to see in the school nurse's office, are morally preferable to abortions and unwanted pregnancy, and financially preferable to the latter.

While it would be nice to live in a perfect world, the fact is, we don't. And no amount of ignoring that fact will change it. Because we cannot reach every child with the message of responsibility and morality, the best alternative is to provide "damage control". And hope that we can somehow stem the tide.