Why Conservative Christians Should ENCOURAGE Gay Marriage

Published on September 19, 2004 By Gideon MacLeish In Current Events

OK, I just had this thought.

Many conservative Christians are actively working to illegalize gay marriage. Still others straddle the fence, feeling it's not their area to intrude. Me, I think we ought to embark on a massive campaign to ENCOURAGE them to marry. We can get a bunch of them together in the Rose Bowl a la Sun Myung Moon, and have a big old rump-rangin' love in.

Why, you ask? Won't this lead to the moral decay of our society?

Far from it. Because homosexuality is genetic, by encouraging them to marry and streamlining the adoption process for committed homosexual families, we are allowing them to "breed out" their homosexuality; as it is in the DNA, a few generations of homosexuals not having children should weed out homosexuality entirely, right?

So, what are we waiting for? Get your online ordination at the Universal Life Church and MARRY AWAY!!!

signing off (tongue firmly planted in cheek)

Gideon MacLeish

Comments

DesignGuy

on Sep 19, 2004

- and after what you just posted on my article *shakes head*

I think the issue here is more emotional than intellectual, at least on the "personal" level. Fear and what people have been taught drive people to act as they do. I have all kinds of half-thought-out theories as to why gay people are discriminated against the way they are, but I'll spare you here on your blog

Angloesque

on Sep 19, 2004

What's it like to have a tongue planted in your cheek? Do you have a regular tongue, too? If so, are the two always, y'know, knocking against each other, or trying to talk at the same time? Does it come out of the mouth straight like a regular tongue, or does it come out, like, at an angle (as it would seem from the physiology of cheeks, being mostly perpendicular to the mouth)? I've always wondered....

-A.

Gideon MacLeish

on Sep 19, 2004

well, basically, anglo, it's just the one tongue, and I can't say much as to advantages/disadvantages, but I CAN say THIS:

It DOES make me a cunning linguist...lol

Angloesque

on Sep 19, 2004

Aaaaaaaargh! Such a bad joke, Gideon.

*represses urge to comment about Gideon's wife's opinion*

*repesses urge to comment about Gideon's ego*

*represses urge to comment in general, and clicks "submit"*

SSG Geezer

on Sep 19, 2004

Logically the religious right should support gay marraige.
1. Who has less abortions than homosexuals?
With the divorce rate over 50% these days; How could they do any worse?

Luke T

on Sep 20, 2004

You hetro's are AFRAID to allow gay marriage!

Your scared, cos you know we'll prolly do better than you!

The divorce rate is so high these days worldwide, hetro's never have needed to fight for the right to marry, thus you use and abuse that right to do so freely and requently.

..hell you guys even have drive-thru marraige places in Las Vagas? And great role-models in Britney Spears for young girls, teaching them it's ok to dress like a s**t and marry for 48 hours. Lets not get started on J.Lo, the internet's not big enough...

Gay people dont want to marry for the sake of it, you think were all a bunch of club-going, drug-taking, sluts... Thats such a small amout of us... but the media likes to focus on those old school details the media focused on it the past..

The one's who really wanna marry have found the one they want to be with for life, or are fighting for their future rights to do so...

We don't contest your rights to marry, so why not allow us that right to marry too.

Don't play the religious card... So many hetrosexual marriages are outside churches, alot of hetrosexual people aren't religious, why do you allow them to marry, if you wanna play the religious card, then stop non-religious people from marrying, force marriage out of the hands of the law and make sure the church is in charge of it... play by that book thats older than any living person to contest it's interpritation... sure that sounds fair.... that wouldn't even hold in courts these days!!

Allow us to marry, if God see's it wrong, let him deal with us when we die.. But give us the freedom to choose how we live our lives... God will deal with us if he saw it as wrong! ...wont he!?

Luke T
(Melbourne, Australia)

canning-poverty

on Sep 20, 2004

Uhhh, Luke...I think you didn't read the article closely enough.

Thanks for your comments, though. One little hint, in the future, if someone's arguing FOR your position, little slams such as:

Your scared, cos you know we'll prolly do better than you!

don't really help your cause. You can advance the case of homosexual marriage without badmouthing heterosexual marriages. Hell, I'm willing to bet that a heterosexual marriage got you here in the first place.

joetheblow

on Sep 20, 2004

this is funeh

teh funeh

Heydre

on Sep 20, 2004

Nothing like the sanctity of marriage when almost 50 percent of hetero couples get divorced. So please preserve the sanctity of this flip of a quarter.........HEADS I win...TAILS you lose.

private mortgage insurance

on Nov 02, 2004

Bungy32

on Nov 02, 2004

ecause homosexuality is genetic, by encouraging them to marry and streamlining the adoption process for committed homosexual families, we are allowing them to "breed out" their homosexuality

Hey , look...I know this is a "tongue in cheek" post and should be taken with a grain (if not a shaker) of salt, but...

I don't really see how allowing gay marriage will breed out homosexuality (if it is genetic) from the general population. Gay people have been being born to straight identified parents for, well, ever. Arguably, some of those "straight" parents might be "passing" in a sexuality-oppressive culture, but I doubt that giving them a gay marriage alternative will entirely remove the genetic tendency (if it even is that) from the general population. Also, gay marriage offers no promise that gay people won't contnue to breed (either through artificial insemination or the usual methods).

In a sense, I would argue that this argument for gay marriage participates in the same logic as quaranteens and concentration camps. It's a comforting narrative, perhaps, to the truly homophobic who would like to see homosexuality purged from the planet. But it is also just not that likely to work.

That said, I guess I have to be happy about any argument that encourages more people to support gay marriage -- even if for misguided reasons. Thanks for the chuckle, Gideon.

(Oh, and if my comments on this thread are a bit, well, out of date....blame it on the spammer who "reactivated" this thread in the forums. Sorry I missed this discussion the first time around.)

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!