The journey from there to here
Published on August 28, 2004 By Gideon MacLeish In Home & Family
As the father of 5 children, I am surprised how often I am accosted by callous jerks who don't know me, and yet, seeing the size of my family, feel that I am a ripe target for their rant about the irresponsibility of having many kids in an overpopulated planet. Since it is societally unacceptable to bound and gag them and force them to watch "the Waltons" for 42 straight days, I felt that I would do the next best thing: blog about it.

While I defer to a family the right to decide the size of their family, that holds equally true for large families. Yes, the planet is probably overpopulated, but a lot of the overpopulation is outside of the US. A drive across the American west will tell you there's plenty of land left here, and plenty of resources to care for our population.

The facts remain, however, that we in America have created a crisis as we have driven away from large families. Many families choose to remain childless, still others cap their family size at one or two children. Again, it's their right to make this decision, but as we grow nearer to a social security crisis, we must realize that producing fewer and fewer wage earners will only intensify the crisis. It will also lead to a lower tax base as the number of people on social security and retirement increases to where it meets or exceeds the number of current wage earners. With life expectancy increasing, this trend should continue.

There is also the social component of a large family, when functional. If they've grown to know and love each other, with a sense of civic responsibility, there is less of a likelihood that they will ever need public assistance. They will be there for each others' support, and their families will be richer for it.

Back to the issue of overpopulation: I admit the possibility of overpopulation, only because I am becoming more and more convinced as I look at the facts that it's a matter of distribution, rather than lack of availability. This is common in third world countries, where the only way to get the food past the shipping dock is a good old fashioned bribe. But I digress.

There is no need for a large family to utilize significantly more per capita resources than the rest of the country; in fact, many large families have chosen to utilize less. The size of their family makes bulk purchases practical, and many clothes can be handed down to the younger kids, thus using them longer, as kids so frequently outgrow clothes.

So, if you're one of those Howard Stern wannabes who feels the need to rant everytime you see a large family, the next time you see one....DON'T. It's your future these kids may be supporting.

signing off,

Gideon MacLeish

Comments
on Aug 28, 2004
Gideon: Great article. I think a big factor in the instances of people looking down their noses at large families is the overly indulgent and materialistic nature of American culture. Many people can not see the joy that comes from family closeness and the role that sacrifice plays in love.

Large families typically have to make sacrifices and work together (that is not to say that no small families do this) in order to keep the household running smoothly. These sacrifices that we make for the benefit of our loved ones creates a closeness and special bond that astoundingly deep.

Children do not require new Nike sneakers and karate classes to grow up well-adjusted and loved. A beloved pair of big brother's Payless sneakers and some ninja play in the backyard will make a child just as happy (unless they are raised to believe that they need *things* to be happy and that they are deprived if they don't have all the same stuff the doctor's kids have) as the expensive new shoes and classes.

My husband and I are looking forward to trying for another baby in the next year. We don't have tons of money, but I can guarantee you our children have every bit as much love and attention as the only children of the world. Gideon, I know that you are a fantastic, devoted father, and I think those people who complain about large families would be hard pressed to find an area in which your children are lacking compared to children in a small family. It has little to do with money and resources, and a lot to do with values and willingness to work and sacrifice.
on Aug 28, 2004
Yes, Texas...tons of money isn't the requirement for having a large family...tons of love is.
on Aug 29, 2004
Great post. I have three boys and I feel that certain strangers and family members look down on this like we are just a huge family. I think the common opinion is that why would you want to have more than two? They seem to think that it was okay to have another one since we had two boys - it's okay if you're "trying for a girl" which by the way we weren't. People are retarded but I can't imagine people having the gall to actually question you about your family size. The next time they ask you why you have five and are overpopulating the planet why don't you ask them why they didn't have more - just say "oh are you shooting blanks?!" - lol! that ought to shut them up. I don't know where everybody on Joe User lives but where I live I can't imagine someone questioning a stranger about something so personal and that is really none of their business. Just look at kids #3-5 and think what the world would have missed out on if you decided to be "normal" and only have 2.3 kids. Give them a big squeeze and tell them that the world wouldn't be complete without them here.