I was responding to another thread in which I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed as I thought about the situation. I won't get into specifics, but the general gist of it was the situation put the individual in grave danger of becoming part of a cycle of anger. A cycle of anger is always destructive, and someone has to put a stop to it.
I say this out of experience: I am the product of generations of dysfunctionality, and I finally came to the realization that it was up to me to put a stop to it. But how?
I think we can find out much about how to put a stop to it in two very extensively examined lives: Christ and Gandhi. These men (and I do believe in the trinity, but Christ came to earth as a man, so I am using this as a reference) realized that love truly is a better way, and came to show this to the world. Hate destroys, but love builds. Hate burns, but love heals.
Wisefawn wrote a nicely insightful article on a panphlet put out by the anti-defamation league entitled "close the book on hate". I would list it as a recommended read, and also suggest you follow the link and read the pamphlet itself. It is possible you won't agree with every position in the pamphlet; frankly, I didn't, but you should read it for its intent and take what you can glean out of it and leave the rest. Only by understanding others can we truly begin to work on a path towards healing.
One reason, I think, that we have a tendency towards hate is, it is the easy road. Love often takes work and effort on our part, and hate is as simple as lashing out. But hate, ultimately, enslaves you to the object of your hatred; only through love can you be free.
I realize that this sounds like a bunch of pithy remarks, but I speak as one who was once almost completely destroyed by hate. I hated everyone and everything, including myself. Over the years, I've slowly worked my way towards being a more loving, more forgiving individual, and although I have a LONG way to go, I have seen the fruits of these changes. My children are lovers and givers, and firmly dedicated to making the world a better place, and so I know that I have made great strides in terminating the legacy of dysfunctionality in my family. I only hope that I can go further.
signing off,
Gideon MacLeish