Note: Christians will understand this. NonChristians may not.

The last three years in the TX Panhandle have been tough. Not because of work. Oh, no, we've been doing fairly well. And I've been involved in a lot of side projects. I've taken on tasks here I might not have had the boldness to take on somewhere else.

What's been tough has been the lack of fellowship.

I guess for my first 15 years as a Christian, I was blessed. No matter where I went, I always found great churches, great Christians, great people. People who were eager to share my joys and my burdens equally, people with whom I could sit down, relax, and be myself. And these were not in cloistered communities, it was a common experience everywhere I went.

For the year in Nevada, it was a little different. The first nine months weren't that great, but over the last three months before we moved, we began to get settled into a nice church. Of course, six of the first nine months much of my time was spent far underground in the cavernous mines of Death Valley. But the church we settled into was dear enough to us that we almost regretted moving, although we saw no other option.

Now here in Texas, we just haven't "settled" anywhere. We tried the churches in town, but they just weren't a match. And the experience with one of those churches was decidedly ugly; enough so that, while we know we're welcome back, we're unlikely to go back barring some truly miraculous changes.

We're OK with where we're at currently, but it doesn't have the closeness that I have felt the Christian walk should have. The kind of closeness the Bible exhorts among believers, the kind that endures in the face of adversity.

There's a place where I believe God wants us as believers. A place of fellowship. A place where we rest in each other's presence, and in the Lord's. I haven't found that here, and, more disturbingly, haven't found an expressed longing for it. If others here longed for it I would be more than willing to facilitate it.

I miss fellowship more than I can even begin to express. I know this is where we are, for now, and I accept it. But I really need to be around people who believe pretty much as I do. Sure I like different ideas, but every once in awhile, it's nice to "settle in".