Missing Fellowship

Published on September 3, 2007 By Gideon MacLeish In Religion

Note: Christians will understand this. NonChristians may not.

The last three years in the TX Panhandle have been tough. Not because of work. Oh, no, we've been doing fairly well. And I've been involved in a lot of side projects. I've taken on tasks here I might not have had the boldness to take on somewhere else.

What's been tough has been the lack of fellowship.

I guess for my first 15 years as a Christian, I was blessed. No matter where I went, I always found great churches, great Christians, great people. People who were eager to share my joys and my burdens equally, people with whom I could sit down, relax, and be myself. And these were not in cloistered communities, it was a common experience everywhere I went.

For the year in Nevada, it was a little different. The first nine months weren't that great, but over the last three months before we moved, we began to get settled into a nice church. Of course, six of the first nine months much of my time was spent far underground in the cavernous mines of Death Valley. But the church we settled into was dear enough to us that we almost regretted moving, although we saw no other option.

Now here in Texas, we just haven't "settled" anywhere. We tried the churches in town, but they just weren't a match. And the experience with one of those churches was decidedly ugly; enough so that, while we know we're welcome back, we're unlikely to go back barring some truly miraculous changes.

We're OK with where we're at currently, but it doesn't have the closeness that I have felt the Christian walk should have. The kind of closeness the Bible exhorts among believers, the kind that endures in the face of adversity.

There's a place where I believe God wants us as believers. A place of fellowship. A place where we rest in each other's presence, and in the Lord's. I haven't found that here, and, more disturbingly, haven't found an expressed longing for it. If others here longed for it I would be more than willing to facilitate it.

I miss fellowship more than I can even begin to express. I know this is where we are, for now, and I accept it. But I really need to be around people who believe pretty much as I do. Sure I like different ideas, but every once in awhile, it's nice to "settle in".

Comments (Page 1)

Jewbu

on Sep 03, 2007

Hello Gid,

Comfort Zones can be important, can't they! My sense is that comfort to some extent can come not just from like-mindedness, but also repetitive contact.

Best wishes,

Jythier

on Sep 03, 2007

Even missing church for a week gets me started in a downward spiral, so I can't imagine how it's like for you to be constantly away from the fellowship. I also know what you mean about the closeness...

Too bad it's the kind of thing that can only happen in certain environments.

Tova7

on Sep 03, 2007

I know exactly what you are talking about Gid. We are over five years with no church family. It sux.

KFC Kickin For Christ

on Sep 04, 2007

I too understand more than ever what you mean Gid. Oh, not because I'm there now, but now that I have what you're missing I remember I have never had this before.

We are thinking of moving. Not because we are unhappy here, we're not. it's because we feel God is leading us out. But what's so sad, is the fact, if and when we do this, we are leaving one of the best church fellowships I believe in this state. It's truly family helping family. I will feel like we're leaving a warm snuggly place for a cold world when we walk out these doors. I think of Paul leaving in Ephesus. The weeping and sorrow that was felt by him and his spiritual brothers and sisters is almost too much to bear thinking about. That will be us. In fact, this story was sermonized on the radio today (how timely) while we were painting our kitchen cabinets. My husband made a comment that he felt the message was for us.

Right now our guts are in turmoil. We want to stay, but it seems as tho God has something in store for us. I've lived in this state my whole life. This is not an easy decision.

My answer to you is to pray, wait and try to build with a small group some of what you're looking for if possible. The church I am attending now and have been talking about was not a good place to be over five years ago. Now it's amazing. Be patient and most of all keep praying.

Good Luck (living under Christ the King)

We are over five years with no church family. It sux.

Tova, I met another AF guy who gave me the name of a good church out there. He just transferred from Wright Patt to New Mexico. Gah!! I can't remember the church tho. He said it was alot like ours. He came to visit us about a month ago because his mother goes to my church and is a good friend of mine. I'll ask her if she can ask him again.

You really need to get those kids into a good church. If you don't you know the world will scoop them up teach them the ways of the world and that will be that. We've seen alot of heart broken parents who didn't take fellowship seriously until too late, usually sacrificing their firstborn to the world only coming back for the sake of their younger ones.

Tova7

on Sep 04, 2007

You really need to get those kids into a good church. If you don't you know the world will scoop them up teach them the ways of the world and that will be that. We've seen alot of heart broken parents who didn't take fellowship seriously until too late, usually sacrificing their firstborn to the world only coming back for the sake of their younger ones.

My oldest is involved at the local Baptist Church. The rest of us do go to a church, Patterson Park, but its not family like all the other places we've gone.

Gideon MacLeish

on Sep 04, 2007

You really need to get those kids into a good church. If you don't you know the world will scoop them up teach them the ways of the world and that will be that.

I can't afford to move across country right now, KFC.

I'm going to say, I take isse with this. I know you didn't mean it, but your statement basically indicated my wife and I are incapable of religious instruction. I take offense to that.

I have serious doubts that we will darken the doorway of a Baptist church ever again. You only get burned so many times before you learn to avoid the flame. And the Baptist chrch is the prevailing church in this area.

We are not Pentecostal, we are Not church of Christ. What do you suggest, KFC, the Mormon church? They are MUCH nicer and accepting than the Baptists.

That's what I thought. Don't slam us for instructing our children at home when there are so few options for good Christian fellowship.

Jythier

on Sep 04, 2007

It's so much easier to not be in your shoes. I don't have to look at your bank balance as I say "God will provide for you."

He promised.

I take it to include fellowship, as well.

Gideon MacLeish

on Sep 04, 2007

It's so much easier to not be in your shoes. I don't have to look at your bank balance as I say "God will provide for you."

Exactly. and ON that note, there are some rather astounding indicators He wants us here for the long term (AFTER I graduate, though...first things first). I don't want to divulge everything on that note publicly at the moment, though.

Jythier

on Sep 04, 2007

I think He has that fellowship for you, I just hope you find it sooner rather than later.

Gideon MacLeish

on Sep 04, 2007

But both you and KFC seem to assume that HAS to be a brick and mortar church.

I personally believe the brick and mortar church is hastening its own demise in demanding that we outlaw same sex marriage. The time is not long in coming when the church will not be able to deny same sex couples to marry (don't believe me? Try being a "government endorsed" church and denying whites the right to marry blacks). At that point, churches will either need to allow same sex marriage or dissolve entirely in the form we know of today.

Jythier

on Sep 04, 2007

I don't ask that you outlaw same sex marriage, just that you don't allow same sex marriages to become law. It's not a marriage, period. Find a new word for it. Civil union is fine. Don't redefine my word. If marriage means everything, it means nothing.

Did you have ANY friends at your old church? Perhaps you can start a small group with them. That will also allow you to keep looking and praying for the truly miraculous changes.

Fellowship is all about the people, not the brick and mortar. I didn't mean to say otherwise. When I say it only happens in certain environments, I'm speaking against the kind of church where there are untrustworthy people and people who are very judgemental. Share with the wrong person and you find yourself, well, pretty much as you found yourself.

The environment you need is one built up with trust, and love. You may have to start it yourself, but the worst seems to have already happened to you, so what else could go wrong?

Good luck finding it, whether within bricks and mortar or within your own home.

Tova7

on Sep 04, 2007

Hey Gid,

KFC wasn't talking to you about getting your kids in church. She was talking to me...as an ongoing conversation. We talked about this when she visited me in Ohio. I believe she is aware of your hardship.

Sorry bout the confusion.

Tova7

on Sep 04, 2007

I take it to include fellowship, as well.

Well you shouldn't. God sent many people into desert experiences with lack of fellowship for a period of time. Jesus included.

It doesn't mean every time its God's doing....but sometimes I think he does draw us out for tests/trials alone. So assuming he will ALWAYS provide fellowship with others isn't true. Didn't John spend his last years alone on Patmos in a cave?

Fellowship is a blessing, but its not promised to everyone all the time.

Having said that I will say this....most of the time imo its not God drawing people out of the church, its the world, and self.

Gideon MacLeish

on Sep 04, 2007

KFC wasn't talking to you about getting your kids in church. She was talking to me...as an ongoing conversation.

OK, my bad. Sorry, KFC. It's just been a sticking point with me, personally.

I could find a good fellowship if I could drive 70 miles. but on a weekly basis? Ain't happening. Can't afford it.

Jythier

on Sep 04, 2007

Nonono, that would be on a three or four times weekly basis. You don't just go to church once a week, Gid, you should be there every other day. Plus, all your Christian friends will be 70 miles away, too, so you'll want to meet with them, and they have Christian friends right down the street, so they're not coming out to see you, or even willing to meet halfway...

I have never felt so outside a community as when we tried to get people to come visit our apartment, half an hour away from the church.

I have never felt so accepted into a community as when 4 families came up from half an hour away just for my son's first birthday party.

I learned, then, that people will do a lot more for our kids than for us. I'm okay with that.

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