Last October, when we re-upped our cell phone contract, we opted for the emergency roadside assistance on one of our phones. We figured that it was worth it to have that extra safety net when we are on the road.

This past weekend, we went to Okemah, Oklahoma, and the big Woody Guthrie Festival there. On the way home, we were stricken with a case of car-wouldn't start-itis. First in OKC, but as we lumbered out, the alternator was working, albeit intermittently. We were hoping it would be just intermittent enough to get us safely home. As we got into western Oklahoma, we found that wasn't the case. the car died and we couldn't get anyone to jump start us on the side of the road. I confidently pulled out my wife's cell phone (the one with the roadside assistance on it) and called the emergency number.

I was a bit confused when it was answered as AT&T roadside assistance. Apparently Alltell outsources.

The early part of the conversation went something like this:

Operator: Sure I can help you. Can you tell me where you are?

Me: Yes. I am one mile east of exit 71 on interstate 40 between Weatherford and Oklahoma City

O: Perfect. Can you give me some kind of landmark to describe your location

Me (having just described it well enough to paint the spot for a strategic missile attack): Yes. Cows.

O: Well, what's around you?

Me: NOTHING. I'm basically in the middle of nowhere, one mile east of exit 71 on Interstate 40

O (fumbles around for 15 minutes trying to find information, interjecting intermittently to tell me it will be just another minute): OK, I'm finding your location now. Just a minute.

Me: OK

O (apparently having not heard of Google Earth, which would have found me much faster): I can get you someone out there but it will cost you $200

Me: Nevermind.

We tried to flag down help for the next ten minutes, but I had to get my babies out of the 100 degree heat. We set out walking and a driver finally came allong to assist us. The rest of the trip in was a limp home: a fellow swapped us batteries so that I could get about 100 miles. I had 130 miles to home. We limped to 30 miles from home, where a friend met us and swapped batteries with us so that we could limp in home.

I'm cancelling my roadside assistance and going to someone reliable. If they can't come through when you need them, they aren't worth it.