Over the years, I've come to believe that one of the greatest failings the church has is in bearing up one another's burdens. I firmly believe that if the church were operating properly, there would be no need for government welfare, and less need for psychiatric hospital (yes, before you say it, I am aware that many mental disorders are organic in nature and are best treated with medication. But many more are not, and many people's burdens could be lifted simply by the presence of a good, true friend). But most importantly, there would be less bitterness among the hurt and the wounded in Christ.

Spiritual honesty is often sorely lacking, most likely because it is lacking in our leaders. Our leaders often do not share their vulnerabilities because of a perceived need to build a wall between themselves and the congregation. Yet looking on the ministry modeled by Christ, I don't see that kind of wall building, so I'm not sure it is appropriate for today's church leaders. I would be interested in entertaining compelling arguments from someone who feels otherwise.

Because that honesty is so often absent, many churchgoers feel the need to present a facade of perfection, a facade that suggests that everything is going right. And because it quite often is not, keeping up that facade sets them up for failures, for crashes, for bitterness.

As many who have read my blog know, I have been struggling very hard with this issue myself. I'm bitter, I'm exhausted. I wish I wasn't, I wish I was stronger, but the truth is, I don't HAVE anyone around here with whom I can share my burdens. And not having anyone to share them with makes it all that much harder. I'd like to think I was strong enough, self sufficient enough to "pick myself up by my bootstraps", but I'm not. And in truth, I was not meant to be, which is why the admonishment to bear one another's burdens.

I've pretty much stopped blogging on religion altogether because the hurt's too fresh, it's too painful. But I'm gradually beginning to realize the value of my emotions, because, honestly, I'm far from the only Christian who feels the way I do.

If time has taught me anything, it's taught me that this, too, shall pass. And I'm looking forward to it passing. Because I don't feel very spiritual or very productive while it's here.