***DISCLAIMER: This is not a question of you, the reader, this is a question of myself. This is an instrospective piece written on my blog because, well, it was what came to mind and, well, it is what I felt like sharing. If I need advice I'll consult a competent professional and not some random unknown entity from an online source. I thank you in advance for your concern, and I welcome comments, but Dr. Phil wannabes will be shown the door in a not so polite manner. This disclaimer is also a snarky, sarcastic disclaimer and is not to be taken seriously. All guarantees void in Tennessee***

I can only describe the two years we've spent in the Texas panhandle as a whirlwind. As the New Year nears and we naturally begin ruminating over the year past and years past, there's a whole list of things that I've gone over and over in my mind.

First off, things have been great. Those who think otherwise have missed the important blogs, the ones that actually mean something to me. Perfect 4.0 for the fall semester, plus a certification earned, hopefully the first of many. Elected Student Council Secretary, directed a play, ran for office...a very productive year, with lessons both good and bad learned.

But there's been a lot of sentiment on JoeUser lately that I am somehow deserving of the negative things we have dealt with. That somehow the issues with the local marshall have been something we've brought on ourselves. And that somehow the current situation follows a PATTERN, that we've repeatedly endured these types of things. We won't even address the issue of whether I "belong" on JoeUser or not. That's not any individual blogger's decision to make. If Brad and the other admins feel that I don't belong here, they have the tools to remove me. And I have no doubt that they will. 

First off, let me be abundantly clear. I have been arrested precisely two times in my life. The first time, I deserved it. The second time I did not. And with an 18 year span between the two arrests, I can say fairly conclusively that I don't fit into the pattern of a "habitual" criminal.

The situation with the city marshall would be easy to ascribe to something being wrong with me if I were being harassed to the exclusion of others, or if the entire community supported my harassment. Neither case is true. There are several people who've had negative experiences with this marshall, and, in fact, I've been one of the lucky ones. I haven't had him draw his gun on me or spray me with pepper spray. Yet. And, while three of the five people on the city council support this marshall, the other two do not, nor do most of the people in the community. Unfortunately, we're going to have to hang on until May elections to begin to make the necessary changes.

I also have to look at the bigger picture. Am I seeing a response from other, more rational people in my real life encounters that would indicate a problem on my part? Quite the contrary. My boss was happy enough with my performance that I received a raise before my first paycheck, and I've been given the kind of increasing responsibilities that indicate a general satisfaction with my performance. I've made a positive enough impression on my fellow students to be elected to student government, I've been elected to the board of the Woody Guthrie Center here in the community, despite HEAVY odds against a year ago. I received a 4.0 average for the semester. And 5600 people in the 19 counties in my House district voted for me. These are achievements you don't get without a fair amount of work.

I don't intend to stop blogging here, and I don't intend to stop being controversial. Blogging is for me a release, a vent, and it helps me to get a few things off my chest. Sure, I may not always come across in the most genteel manner, but that's not what this is for. This is MY blog, it's MY turf.

I've been very careful not to let my disagreements with other bloggers spill over onto other blogs. If there's a problem with something, I try to keep it here to the best of my abilities. And you won't find a lot of name calling and personal attacks in my replies...just disagreements, which, of course, we all have.

So, am I wrong? Honestly, I don't think so. While I don't always employ the wisest approach (let's face it, honestly, the least confrontative thing for me to do right now would be to pick up and move 15 miles up the road...but honestly, we have an opportunity to own our own home, the first time in my life I've actually had such opportunity, and I think it would be stupid to let a few village idiots run us off), I know that the things I stand for, the things I hold dear, are the right things. And I intend to stay the course, even while doing a careful self evaluation to make sure that I'm not totally off the deep end.

Sure, I've lost a few "friends" on JU over my dogmatic stands on the issues. But if a friend cannot accept you for who you are, were they ever truly a friend to begin with? In my mind, I think not.