The journey from there to here
Published on September 1, 2006 By Gideon MacLeish In Humor

I hate "mommy blogs".

In a recent article on a most UN-mommy blog, the writer was posing the question about mommy blogs. They could not remember where the comment came up, but the estrogen poured over those responses like water down the Colorado in flood season. Therefore, I MUST defend my honor in the light of these (horrible, I tells ya!) accusations.

And so, this article is dedicated to those mommy bloggers (disclaimer: I am NOT referring to TW, dharma, angela, loca, or any of the JU regs...do a little surfing on BlogExplosion and you'll eventually see EXACTLY what I'm talking about):

  • Sure, your kid's cute. But the harsh reality is, they may not remain so. I can send some "before" and "after pics" of me at age 4 and at age 36 to drive my point home emphatically
  • A kindergarten graduation's nothing to celebrate, and you should seriously be smacked upside the head with a funnoodle if you're celebrating a preschool graduation, let alone if you think it's important enough to make into an extensive blog article. I mean, seriously, think about it!
  • Every child's a "genius" at age 5. Wait a few years, till their brains get rotted out with repeated viewings of "Camp Lazlo". If they're still normal, be happy.
  • Your child knocking the ball 3 feet forward off of the tee is NOT something to alert the major league scouts about.
  • Drool is not cute. Ever. If it were, people would be lined up around the block to work in nursing homes.
  • If you tell me about the child that's graduating valedictorian, you may only do so if you don't omit the child I saw on the freeway chase on the interstate last week.
  • I really, really do not care about the color or consistency of your child's poo. The initials "TMI" cover it nicely (incidentally, I still do not care about the color or consistency of said poo when it is smeared on the living room wall just before the pastor comes for dinner). Poo is not cute, ever, either. See the comments two items above.
  • Halloween costumes and Santa hats are always cool. Always. I'll give a lot of leeway for those.

One


Comments
on Sep 01, 2006

Accidentally bumped a key before I could finish. And JU's not letting me edit today. So, it will remain the "unfinished blog article" for a time.

And I can't for the life of me figure out why it cropped off half of my title. Should have read "confessions of a mommy blog hater".

on Sep 01, 2006
I guess you are not interested in my pictures of my baby boy. No poo or drool!
on Sep 01, 2006
Aw Gee Gid! You are a spoil sport! Here I was planning to just one of those. About puppy pooh!

I feel sure the ladies that poured out all the estrogen will forgive you over time! Hehehehe! After they have boycotted you for a week!

Just Kidding !

*clambers back onto her chuckle wagon out of breath, and prepares to gallop away pulled by her trusty steed Jack*   
on Sep 03, 2006
Well as a blogger who has written many things about her kids, I'm still going to do it. Every step they take is a wonderous and fantastic milestone that will be celebrated always. And if there's someone else out there who can relate or be as happy as I am about it, yeah! : )