I was reading another blogger's article about some of the personal struggles of her family, and it got me to thinking. About the war, about the protestors, and about the families.

And it has me questioning if, indeed, some of the protestors who demand they are "supporting the troops, but opposing our actions" really are doing what they say.

In my two years on JU, I've watched from afar as several military relationships have veered precipitously close to collapse. And while it would be rather simplistic to blame the war for the friction in these relationships, I can't help but think it has been an aggravating factor in some. Even if the problems of the household have nothing to do with the conflicts overseas, the long separations from deployment put a difficult barrier in the way of the reconciliation and healing that needs to take place. By the time the deployed spouse returns, the conflict can often be forgotten in the joy of the soldier's return, but the fact that it was left unresolved can be a festering sore that will resurface later. I'm not saying that this is happening in any of the relationships I've seen, just that it would be a natural tendency for that to happen.

These soldiers, in other words, are giving up a whole hell of a lot of things that we take for granted. They're often missing their children's first steps, their first words, their graduations, and so many other important milestones. While they have the marvelous ability to see these things on video, they still can't be there to scoop their children up and congratulate them, or to console them when the milestones are less than joyful. As the old saying goes "all gave some, some gave all", and that is true of our soldiers. Even those who will return home intact have given up a portion of their lives to defend this nation.

How do you say you're supporting these troops when a single accusation of an incident in Haditha leads you to question the integrity of every individual serving even before the accused innocents have been indicted, much less tried and judged? How do you demand that you are loyal to the troops when the husbands, wives, and children of these servicemembers can turn on every news channel and see stories of those who would demand that our servicemembers are, essentially terrorists, and that a soldier who takes prisoners and detains them for the safety of the military and civilian population is somehow equivalent to cold blooded terrorists who seize our soldiers and hack their bodies into little bits? How can you claim to be a patriot when you plaster every flag draped coffin qith questions about the ethics of the actions of the soldiers contained within?

While I can't say I "feel their pain", I know for a certainty that this war is hard on the spouses of those who served, the unnamed troops who will never receive their proper recognition. Every time the counter rolls on the nightly news announcing another death, I am sure spouses cannot help but wonder "is it MY spouse this time"? Every time another soldier is captured, they will have to wonder if it is one of theirs. (Side note: of all the war based movies I have ever seen, only two: "A League of Their Own", and "We were Soldiers" cover the agony of the spouses with any detail).

If you supported our troops, you would choose your words carefully. You would not demand that our soldiers were murderers, or fighting a war for oil, and you would certainly not demand that our enemies, who make a regular practice of slitting the throats of their victims on live videos that they rent out for entertainment in some places, were somehow "freedom fighters" and morally equivalent to our Founding Fathers. If you supported our troops, you would have to believe that most serve with honor, and deserve our respect as a nation.