Someone recently blogged on Wendy's renaming it's "Biggie" drinks. Frankly, I think it's about damn time.

Now, I try to keep my soda consumption relatively low, but in the heat of the summer, I likes my Dr. Pepper. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, and I rarely drink, so it is my RESPONSIBILITY as a low income citizen of this country to have SOME vice that sucks the coinage out of my pocketbook so I can exercise my other responsibility of bitching about the man. And Dr. Pepper is that vice. But I digress...

Anyway, while I haven't been to a Wendy's in some time, I do remember one of my encounters with them. It went something like this:

ME: I'll take an artery buster deluxe, some heart attack fries, and a large soda

CLERK: You want a "Biggie" drink?

ME: Sure, fine. Just give me a large.

(the order comes up with a drink somewhat smaller than the fuel tank of a Pinto)

ME: Wait. I thought I ordered the "Biggie" drink.

CLERK: That IS the "Biggie"

ME: But I see a cup, on the counter, right next to the drink machine, that is decidedly larger (about the size of a fuel tank on a midsized Buick).

CLERK: Oh, that. That's our "Great Biggie".

ME: Well, I ordered a large.

CLERK: Well, that's what we call a large

ME (muttering something about how the prices were so much cheaper when I was a kid): Fine. Have a nice day.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but when I order a large it should be the largest portable container for fluid containment that the restaurant possesses. I shouldn't have to "know the code" to get the right amount of fluid to have me racing for the nearest portajohn 15 minutes after consumption. So, let's go back to good ol' "small, medium and large" sizes, or provide an IV to mainline the stuff, and end the confusion, shall we?