As a Christian who readily describes myself as an evangelical, I have one big pet peeve among many of my contemporaries. And that is the feeling that exists among so many of them that every action, every word directed to a non believer needs to be a cleverly (or, as any non believer here will readily a firm, really a NOT so cleverly) concealed attempt at evangelism. It is certainly appropriate for a Christian to wish for nonbelieving friends to know the joy, peace and assurance they know in their hearts; it is NOT appropriate to drag them to that place.

A "friendship" based on ulterior motives is not a friendship at all. It is dishonest, deceitful, and ultimately, the friend winds up feeling used when they realize you simply used them to add another notch to your bible. Friendship should be its own reward, and, if your faith is sincere, I believe it will be compelling enough to bring a true friend to ask questions over time.

One of the biggest problems with the church today, I believe, is that there are too many words and not enough actions. There are thousands, if not millions, of street corner evangelists who are willing to carry their bible and preach on the streets in front of the housing projects; very few of them have any compulsion to meet the NEEDS of the inhabitants of that project, something that would strike the heart of a true Christian before any thought of evangelism popped up in their heads.

If Christians were actively engaged of meeting the needs of people they encounter in every day life with no thought of reward (another pet peeve: people who smugly decree they're "building up their rewards in heaven"); if we lived our faith through action and worked to make a meaningful difference in the lives of everyone we touch, I truly believe that many more people would desire what we have. And that desire would lead to questions.

But such action requires that we be more than just "Sunday" Christians. It requires what I call "aggressive servanthood", meaning that instead of waiting for a person to come to you with their needs, you ask THEM what you can do to help them through life (AFTER you've developed a friendship; absent the friend relationship, it's called "being a busybody"). And it can be done without even stepping foot in the church.

The truth is, I have seen "aggressive servanthood" in practice. And, occasionally, it has even come from Christians. But the fact that Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, and Wiccans seem to "get" this principle better than we do as Christians may be part of the reason that, although 85% of Americans consider themselves to be Christians, only about 40% attend church regularly.