In this PC world, it is becoming increasingly obvious we need someone to jeer, to make fun of. Our collective self image is so low, so debased, that we cannot manage when someone's jokes target our disability, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, cola preference, you name it.

In that spirit, I would like to unveil my new business concept: Professional Victims, Inc. The idea is that, for a fee, someone will step up to be a victim you can humiliate, deride, kick in the shins, you name it. You get to humiliate someone to improve your own self esteem, and the professional victim gets a nice check for their effort. This will create an entirely new income stream for the handicapped, the homeless, and the DNC!

I am willing to offer myself as the first professional victim for this service. You can make any jokes you want at my expense, provided they are accompanied by a substantial contribution to my paypal account. Call me anything you like. Vent your feelings of self loathing on me, and walk away feeling better about your own pathetic existence. While you're feeling smug, I'll be driving to the steakhouse with a smile on my face.

My only concern is that Jesse Jackson will sue me for copyright infringement.