Now if only they could Contact Ethel Merman!

Published on March 19, 2006 By Gideon MacLeish In Current Events

You've probably heard about this, but in case you haven't, I will enlighten you.

Our psychic friends will be attempting to summon John Lennon from his otherworldly digs to enlighten them with his wisdom. The event will be broadcast live via pay per view for anyone who needs something with a little more ooomph than reruns of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" to make their existence on this plane substantial.

The only objection I have to this is, if you're going to whore yourself out, go all the way. Remember that offer that was made many years ago for the Beatles to reunite on Saturday Night Live? Well, I think it's high time the surviving two of the Fab Four cash in by holding a seance with a *New* Beatles track that's really just "Yellow Submarine" backmasked with added vocal tracks from the days of Stu Sutcliffe and Pete Best. In fact, why not get three seances for the price of two and summon up Stu? Of the three deceased individuals who have been part of the famed supergroup, I am quite sure that Stu is the least in demand, being the one person in the universe LESS substantial than Ringo Starr. So maybe Horatio Sanz can sit in and channel Sutcliffe's ghost for the night; why the hell not?

The producers of this show are entirely lacking in creativity. There's a gold mine here, and they will make this event out to be a bust on the equivalent of Geraldo's infamous opening of Capone's vault. If you're gonna be a whore, baby, slit that skirt ALL the way up and slap on the mascara! None of this halfway hippy nutjob stuff for us!

Comments

bakerstreet

on Mar 19, 2006

On thing that has always bothered me about this drek is the lack of ethics. How do they know that the dead want to be contacted? Imagine if some extra-dimensional creature dragged you out of your plane once a week to ask you stupid questions.

I'd consider it a violation. At best this is a bunch of nonsense, and at worst these people are harrowing the dead. You'd think there'd a be a school of spiritualism protesting the abuse of those that have 'passed beyond'.

Ionolast

on Mar 19, 2006

And just imagine; some people are gullible and stupid enough to pay to see this crap. Why Lennon? Surely there are dead people more intelligent than him. Why not Einstein?

If they succeed, Lennon will probably tell them to fuck off.

on Mar 20, 2006

Yeah. If I was asked when I was dead, I would do same. There is FEW exceptions. For few family members and even fewer friends.

That is, if there is such thing as post-living life. I somehow doubt it.

Dr Guy

on Mar 20, 2006

I have to agree with Baker and Icon on this one. Especially Icon's last line!

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