Some months ago, Tex wrote a blog entitled "Stepping Away from God" where she made some statements about her spiritual outlook at the time. I'm not stepping away from God, or anywhere near it, but I AM stepping away from church.
While I've been a committed Christian for 17 years, I have been in church my entire life. I have never doubted the reality of God, or of Jesus Christ, and, in fact, have very strong personal reasons for knowing that both are real.
But as strong as my conviction is as a Christian, I haven't seen that faith lived out in the vast majority of churches that claim the name of Christ. While we're told "God is love" from the pulpit, we sit among backstabbing, sniping, hatemongers whose ambition is to destroy, not to build harmonious relationships, and who so often believe that salvation depends on the name of the sign out in front of the church or a number of petty doctrinal practices. We watch as preference is given based on the size of contributions in the offering plate, despite the fact that we are specifically instructed in scripture NOT to do that, and we judge a person by the cut of his clothes or the length of his hair. In my life, I have not found one single church that is wholly innocent of this charge, though some are a little less judgemental than others.
There was a time when I thought I could make a difference and be a reformer, but you simply cannot reform a church that doesn't want to be reformed. And it makes little to no sense for me to do as so many do and go off and "start my own franchise". While my motives may be pure, it stands to reason that if I am remotely successful, my church would quickly become just another wedge to divide a body already greatly broken with people's own pride and self destructive tendencies. I'm not saying this to be hypocritical; I'm probably as bad about it as anyone.
Right now, I'm sick and tired of being torn apart by all of the competing allegiances in my life. The Baptists hate the Church of Christ. The Church of Christ hates the Baptists. Everyone hates the Catholics and the Mormons. The list goes on. God is not a God of hate, and hate has no place in the life of a faithful Christian. And so I won't go to a church where hatred is fostered or encouraged.
We're told that where two or three are gathered in Christ's name, He is there in the midst of them. My faith is strong enough to survive my worship outside of a church building, and I know it doesn't make me any less a Christian. But it does break my heart to know that many of the people in those church buildings love God every bit as much as I do, but somehow have lost sight of what's truly important. I know I have lost sight as well, that's why I'm coming to the conclusion that stepping away from the church might not be such a bad idea.