The journey from there to here
Gideon MacLeish's Articles In Humor
April 29, 2008 by Gideon MacLeish
Gideon records is proud to announce the release of the latest single from their new group, Run OMC. Run OMc is composed of Senators McCain, Clinton, and Obama, who although they are fierce opponents, basically sing the same song. Here are the lyrics to their new single, "Vote This Way":   OBAMA’s Part There's a independent voter That's really got my motor Runnin’ till Election Day, Said “Yo’ Momma, I be votin’ for Obama cuz Oprah wants to see...
April 29, 2008 by Gideon MacLeish
Gideon records is proud to announce the release of the latest single from their new group, Run OMC. Run OMc is composed of Senators McCain, Clinton, and Obama, who although they are fierce opponents, basically sing the same song. Here are the lyrics to their new single, "Vote This Way":   OBAMA’s Part There's a independent voter That's really got my motor Runnin’ till Election Day, Said “Yo’ Momma, I be votin’ for Obama cuz Oprah wants to see...
April 22, 2008 by Gideon MacLeish
I was scanning through my yahoo! mail when I saw the words that should make anyone shudder. The local freecycle group (if you haven't checked into these groups, you should!) had a posting from one of the members offering a hide-a-bed. Hide-a-beds are, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions, the devil! They are the fruitcake of furniture, pieces that nobody ever seems to buy, yet that somehow everyone ends up owning. After our last move, and the twisting, turning and contort...
April 22, 2008 by Gideon MacLeish
I was scanning through my yahoo! mail when I saw the words that should make anyone shudder. The local freecycle group (if you haven't checked into these groups, you should!) had a posting from one of the members offering a hide-a-bed. Hide-a-beds are, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions, the devil! They are the fruitcake of furniture, pieces that nobody ever seems to buy, yet that somehow everyone ends up owning. After our last move, and the twisting, turning and contort...
November 11, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
OK, so my calendar says today is Veteranarian's Day. What did veteranarians ever do that was worth a day to themselves. One time I had this dog, a cute little Pomeranian. It got sick and we had to take it to the vet, and he didn't do nothing for her. He just told us we had to put her to sleep. And another time, my little cat frisky, had worms, and did the veteranarian actually DO anything? No, he gave her pills. I could have bought pills. They have them at our local grocery store and I cou...
November 11, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
OK, so my calendar says today is Veteranarian's Day. What did veteranarians ever do that was worth a day to themselves. One time I had this dog, a cute little Pomeranian. It got sick and we had to take it to the vet, and he didn't do nothing for her. He just told us we had to put her to sleep. And another time, my little cat frisky, had worms, and did the veteranarian actually DO anything? No, he gave her pills. I could have bought pills. They have them at our local grocery store and I cou...
August 30, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
Ralph Deleuro has a million dollar idea. Ever since a drive in Las Vegas' downtown district, Deleuro has been convinced that there was a better way to take care of transactions among the nation's downtrodden. Deleuro watches with dismay as a beggar who went by the street name "Gonzo" was beaten and left for dead outside the liquor store for the few dollars he had managed to beg that night on Vegas' famour Fremont Street. Now, Deleuro believes he has come up with the solution. Armed wit...
August 30, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
Ralph Deleuro has a million dollar idea. Ever since a drive in Las Vegas' downtown district, Deleuro has been convinced that there was a better way to take care of transactions among the nation's downtrodden. Deleuro watches with dismay as a beggar who went by the street name "Gonzo" was beaten and left for dead outside the liquor store for the few dollars he had managed to beg that night on Vegas' famour Fremont Street. Now, Deleuro believes he has come up with the solution. Armed wit...
April 25, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
As I edge closer to middle age, I feel the pressing need to confess my failings, my imperfections. OK, so I don't. I just think it makes for a damn decent story. It was many many years ago (How many years ago? How long is the statute of limitations for this offense? Take that and add one year). We sat around drinking intoxicating beverages and playing increasingly modified games of Axis & Allies (Kamchatka gets two turns in a row...take THAT Mongolia!). Somewhere between the game and t...
April 25, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
As I edge closer to middle age, I feel the pressing need to confess my failings, my imperfections. OK, so I don't. I just think it makes for a damn decent story. It was many many years ago (How many years ago? How long is the statute of limitations for this offense? Take that and add one year). We sat around drinking intoxicating beverages and playing increasingly modified games of Axis & Allies (Kamchatka gets two turns in a row...take THAT Mongolia!). Somewhere between the game and t...
March 28, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
The poor today are pathetic. I mean, they're really, really bad. See, over the years, there's been a push to give poor people the lifestyles of a pseudo-lower middle class. Unfortunately, when we started doing so, the poor lost a certain je ne sais quoi , a style, a culture that distinctly identified them and gave them a certain flair, and haunted their children with memories that we never will shake. I miss polyester. I mean, if slacks can't throw sparks when rubbed together in t...
March 28, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
The poor today are pathetic. I mean, they're really, really bad. See, over the years, there's been a push to give poor people the lifestyles of a pseudo-lower middle class. Unfortunately, when we started doing so, the poor lost a certain je ne sais quoi , a style, a culture that distinctly identified them and gave them a certain flair, and haunted their children with memories that we never will shake. I miss polyester. I mean, if slacks can't throw sparks when rubbed together in t...
February 27, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
(Disclaimer for the humour impaired: While the following may be sharp, it is nonetheless a satire, not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.) A splinter Baptist Group has now decided that Compassion is not a Godly trait, and are at work retranslating the Bible to prove their case. The Baptist United Ministries voted 453-2 in their annual convention to combat the teaching that compassion, love, and kindness are Godly traits, and instead emphasize more heavily on the carnal sins, which, ...
February 27, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
(Disclaimer for the humour impaired: While the following may be sharp, it is nonetheless a satire, not intended to be taken seriously by anyone.) A splinter Baptist Group has now decided that Compassion is not a Godly trait, and are at work retranslating the Bible to prove their case. The Baptist United Ministries voted 453-2 in their annual convention to combat the teaching that compassion, love, and kindness are Godly traits, and instead emphasize more heavily on the carnal sins, which, ...
January 30, 2007 by Gideon MacLeish
I hate the RIAA as a general rule. But it has come to my attention that the RIAA serves a valid purpose, one that it is not generally filling. This article is a plea for officials from the RIAA to step in and police in an area where they are badly needed. See, if the RIAA is going to protect a copyright, it should also work to protect the integrity of the piece. As an art museum would protect an artist's work from defacement, the RIAA should protect the work of its artists. There are some son...