The journey from there to here

I've finally found the political compromise that will end the smoking debate once and for all. And I actually have Al Gore to thank for it.

It will also add the benefit of helping to solve our national health care issues in the process. So it's a win for everyone.

The plan is modelled after Gore's "Carbon Credits" plan. The idea of the carbon credits, for the uninitiated, is that you pay for the pollution you create. It's kind of a special indulgence for the new millenium (if you don't know what a special indulgence is, jfgi. That's too many tangents for one thread).

Every smoker would pay for a "smoking credits". The cost of the license would be calculated based on their environmental impact, as well as their impact on the health of others. They would pay based on consumption, and their cigarette purchases would be rationed to the level of smoking credits they've purchased. Out of credits? Too bad. Buy more credits or suffer from the nicotine fit.

Once smoking credits have been purchased, the smoker would then be free to smoke whereever he wants. The doctor's office, the old folks' home, daycare, church, your living room. The credits are bought and paid for, and anyone who is affected can apply for relief from the proceeds of the credits.

The proceeds would be used to purchase health care for uninsured children (the most affected), to pay for environmental cleanup, and to pay the funeral expenses for squirrels who swallow the cigarette butts and subsequently choke to death when it swells up in their tiny little throats.

Smoking credits are the truly responsible approach to what might be mankind's greatest scourge. After all, if environmental credits are the answer to large scale pollution, smoking credits would be the perfect answer to such small scale pollution.

And who knows what it could lead to? Fat credits, religion credits, gangsta credits. The possibilities are endless!


Comments
on May 16, 2008
It is already being done. Excise taxes, and the multi billion dollar settlement with tobacco companies.
on May 16, 2008
The proceeds would be used to purchase health care for uninsured children (the most affected), to pay for environmental cleanup, and to pay the funeral expenses for squirrels who swallow the cigarette butts and subsequently choke to death when it swells up in their tiny little throats.

No there is no good excuse for not disposing of cigarette butts properly. I used to have to do grounds clean up every morning at a job. They don't decompose, they don't mix in with the dirt, and they poison the soil.

This is coming from a guy that used to smoke about 2 and half packs a day, quit cause I am too cheap to continue, and is perfectly fine with people smoking near him as long as they are courteous enough to not blow it in his face.

It is already being done. Excise taxes, and the multi billion dollar settlement with tobacco companies.

Which some places decided to use to pay for completely unrelated education programs.
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