Early on in my JU experience, I wrote a blog on hate, and how I refuse to hate. The Emperor of Ice Cream rebutted me, saying that we all hate, and that I should embrace it (rough, ROUGH paraphrase!). As with many of Emp's views, it was cynical, but had a ring of truth to it. Because if you believe in an absolute good and an absolute evil, then there are things that it is virtuous to hate.

I try to define myself as a man of peace for many reasons. I've seen more conflict than most, and I've seen the damage and destruction that conflict leaves in its wake. In the course of my travels, I've come to understand that it is the warrior, more than the poet, who desires peace, because only the warrior fully understands its value. It's as true on the battlefields of our inner cities as it is on the battlefields of our armies. Unless you've seen the brokenness, the despair, and the utter destruction caused by these conflicts, you cannot truly value peace to its fullest. Unless you've seen the ravages of poverty, you cannot fully dedicate yourself to its elimination.

And this is why I part ways with those who would self define as "liberals". I personally define myself as a liberal (and was actually flattered when a past JU poll actually labelled me as such), but the agenda of most who self define has cast me out and left me in that undefined territory. "Libertarian" comes closest, but like all other labels, it is an awkward fit, an uncomfortable bit of clothing.

There's a scene in the movie "The Fisher King" (if you haven't seen it, go rent it. Now. I'll wait). In the scene, Jeff Daniels' character, who is going through an awakening on his own, is shocked and disgusted by a businessman who walks by a beggar and semiconsciously drops change in the beggar's cup. "He didn't even LOOK at you!" is the astonished reply. The beggar replies that he didn't have to, and in a graphic passage, he explains that the businessman is basically easing his conscious and buying a form of comfort so that when he is fed up and disgusted with life he can think of that beggar and the consequences of his failure and realize how badly he wants to avoid it. I botched that badly, but you get the picture. Now go see the movie.

That's what I see the modern "liberal" as doing. If there is a problem, they hurl a check at it and walk away. I don't need to worry, they tell themselves, I paid my check. Like Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol", they feel the check is their indulgence, their liberation from personal responsibility.

And their entire philosophy revolves around easy fixes. Unwanted pregnancies can be wiped away by sending the girl off to a doctor who will "take care" of the problem. The spread of HIV/AIDS can be dealt with through free condoms at the health department, needle exchange programs, and free treatments for all of those unfortunate enough to catch this deadly disease. And bad parenting can be dealt with by removing the child from the home of their parent who, although possessing of poor parenting skills, often does not know a better way. But all of these "solutions" are nothing more than a panacea, a placebo, something that may take care of the immediate needs and do nothing to solve the underlying problems.

And this is where hate comes in. I believe the true warrior hates these things. Hates the destroyed lives they see in the projects. Hates the addict suffering from "the needle and the damage done". Hates to see the families torn apart by an uncaring and unfeeling bureaucracy, knowing that each and every one of those children torn away has an exponentially higher chance of teen pregnancy, of habitual criminal activity, of drug addiction.

But it's not enough to hate. Hate can drive you, but it can also blind you. There must be a balance of reason to drive you, to steer you through the pitfalls and the snares that you often encounter.

I wish I could say I have all the answers, but I don't. But I do know that our current course is not working, and that all these problems are is votes to politicians who have a vested interest in maintaining employment. And that the political war on these social ills is nothing more than a finely crafted PR campaign to do just that. If someone finds a way to eliminate these problems, these bureaucrats will be out of a job. And we can't have THAT on our conscience, now, can we?

I crave peace. I desire it with every fiber of my being. But I'm coming to think true peace is not of this life. In one of my favorite songs of all time, the Rich Mullins song "If I stand", he concludes his chorus with the words "and if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home". Peace, I believe, is a property of my home. And I'm a long, long ways from there right now.