The journey from there to here
Published on June 22, 2007 By Gideon MacLeish In Current Events
On a summer day just shy of twelve years ago, we brought our oldest girl, Destiny Marie, home from the hospital. As young, new parents, we spent many hours discussing the future we had for our new daughter, who, of course, was practically perfect in every way. She would not watch TV outside of a few videos, she would not date when she was a teenager (we still believe the idea of courtship is far closer to God's way of selecting a mate...but discussing that here would set this blog far afield), and, most importantly, she would never play with toy guns. Real guns, in their proper context, were ok, but we did not want her getting the idea that guns were a toy. These rules were hard and fast, immutable, and would apply to our children.

Boy, were we fools.

As Father Time pushes my precious oldest child to the precipice of adolescence, so many things have changed. While we still eschew the excessive television that seems to be endemic to our culture, we have relaxed the rules considerably. In large part because our children have never given us cause for concern with their behaviour that the TV might be a problem. They watch a lot of TV, but in pales in comparison with the hours they spend outside playing, exploring, living the kind of life children were meant to live.

On the dating scene, I still have my preferences and they haven't changed, but as Dessie grows closer to adulthood, I realize it's important to give some consideration to what SHE wants. What is most important for me is for her to know that we will always be here, and while I would prefer she share her values, I would rather sacrifice an absolutist position and keep the relationship intact so that if she ever needs a place to return to, she'll know that this IS the place, even if we may not always agree with the decisions we make. My relationship with my children is paramount; there have been many times when I wished I had caring parents to turn to and I won't leave my children with that same unfilled void.

But of these three positions, I believe the gun issue is the one where we were most naive. If I were to go through the house, I would probably find 20 or more toy guns. I still am not crazy about the idea of toy guns, but I will say that even toy guns are not the problem. Children can be raised in a gun culture responsibly; much of the key lies in making sure they know when and where gun use isn't appropriate. And just as children CAN tell fact from fiction (another stresser was Santa Claus; at first we were an SC free zone; now, while we don't teach Santa as real, we do have more Santa stories around the house; the kids have no difficulty whatsoever with Santa-as-fairy-tale-character), they can discern the difference between real and toy guns. A watergun's fun in one way; an AK-47 is fun in an entirely different way (laughs wickedly).

Sometimes it's amazing to see how much differently things become than we perceive them. If I were to encounter the twelve year younger me, though, I wouldn't tell him to do anything different. All in all, I believe our journey has been a good one.

But I WOULD tell him to get a little extra sleep. And that maybe losing a few extra pounds back then could help.
Comments (Page 2)
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on Jun 27, 2007
True, but the techniques available to them will determine the extent of the harm they can cause. For example you can kill a couple of hundred with a carbomb and up to a couple of dozen with firearms, but a crazed knife-wielding lunatic only has the capacity to take out a couple before they tire or get mobbed.


So true, but in the end it's the end result that we look at, murder or death, how ever you wanna put it.

When I was a kid my parents never gave me any toy weapons of any kind. My friends had them so I just used theirs when we were playing. I don't think it had a lot of effect, although admittedly I would be distinctly uneasy if I saw guns lying around someone's house. I see guns as something for police and the army, not ordinary people. The police have guns so we don't have to.


I think that people who do have very little or no education in firearms should not be allowed to own one. I can understand the reasons, in this day in age we may want to do the right thing by trying to eliminate guns but that wont stop criminals from aquiring them. Still the idea that someone would want to solve a problem by pull out a gun simply because they just happen to have it kinda sucks. I too grew up around violence, some of my favorite cartoons and movies have violence written all over them. But I always took it as fantasy while learning how to steer clear of those who would most likely have and use them. I hope my kids follow in my foot steps, as oppose to getting a gun to defend my family I would rather try to live where the chances of needing it are low and I would do my best to avoid bringing those reasons to my home.


Excellent response!


Well thank you Doc, I do what I can. I may not be very educated like many are on this site about history, politics and/or science, but I can be very passionate about what I believe in and will admit when I a wrong.
on Jun 27, 2007
Still the idea that someone would want to solve a problem by pull out a gun simply because they just happen to have it kinda sucks.


Yeah, but it's also true. Gang violence in Australia mostly involves samurai swords, bats of various kinds, chains, and the very occasional handgun. Gang violence in the US seems to involve pistols and uzis. Admittedly the US gangs probably don't use legally acquired guns either, but there must be a reason they have them.

If we could figure that out - why the US has so much more firearms crime than other, similarly or more highly armed societies like Israel or Switzerland - then we'd know a lot more about people in general.
on Jun 28, 2007
If we could figure that out - why the US has so much more firearms crime than other, similarly or more highly armed societies like Israel or Switzerland - then we'd know a lot more about people in general.


Oh that's easy. As I have always said before and it is proven time and time again everyday in this country, the average American is lazy. So lazy that it would be easier, while more cosntly, to shoot someone with a gun, especially from far away, than to learn how to use a samurai sword. Sad, isn't it?
on Jun 28, 2007
If we could figure that out - why the US has so much more firearms crime than other, similarly or more highly armed societies like Israel or Switzerland - then we'd know a lot more about people in general.


Oh that's easy. As I have always said before and it is proven time and time again everyday in this country, the average American is lazy. So lazy that it would be easier, while more cosntly, to shoot someone with a gun, especially from far away, than to learn how to use a samurai sword. Sad, isn't it?


I disagree, Charles. There are a few answers, one is almost completely obvious in the societies he cites. What do Israel and Switzerland have that the USA does not? Universal military service. In other words, citizens in Israel and Switzerland are well trained in the proper operation of firearms.

It is also important to note that this particular brand of violence is almost exclusive to a certain subculture: the inner city youth. People in rural America have MORE weapons than most in the inner city, yet they are not used in the same manner in NEAR the percentages that they are in the inner cities. Our inner city destructive subculture is one our politicians sadly allow for various reasons that would take too much time to discuss here.
on Jun 28, 2007
Gid

I would hope you would rather say "not only that" or "not at the top of the list though". I understand what you are saying, I was just simply trying to let out some steam about how people in this country just let things happen and do nothing about it.
on Jun 28, 2007
I was just simply trying to let out some steam about how people in this country just let things happen and do nothing about it.


Oh, I understand. I just thought it was interesting that the answer to his own question was obvious in the question.

Yes, laziness is a part of it (and I DID appreciate the sarcasm: "wanna kill someone? Man, a Samurai sword's HEAVY, and you have to [gasp!] TRAIN!"), but when you look at the violence that is largely contained in a society that operates on a welfare based economy, it seems inappropriate to point at the rest of the culture for sloth. There are other factors involved.
on Jun 29, 2007
There are other factors involved.


A lot of them, sad to say.

but when you look at the violence that is largely contained in a society that operates on a welfare based economy, it seems inappropriate to point at the rest of the culture for sloth


I can't help it. It is only now that the American people are starting to get their butts out of their chairs and doing something about the problems in this country. The killing of the bill after the switchboard was shut down is a sign of it. Let's just hope this is not just a "last drop of gas in the tank" moment and they revert back to their chairs and back to "So you think you can dance?, Man Vs Wild, American Idol Rewind and/or America's got talent".
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